This one was almost-written three-days ago and I spent a little time about an hour ago finishing it off. I’ll explain it at the end of this post but, for now, I’ll leave you to read and I hope you enjoy. 🙂
People walk and people talk
Life moves on with every thought.
To have you close is my intention
A friend butts in with every mention.
I know my feelings and my thoughts
If not for her, there’d be no fraught.
Friends are that and do not judge
She will not see, I am in love.
Advice is good but sometimes awkward
She does not know, I now feel tortured.
Three is a crowd with no room for doubt
She was my friend but now, she is out.
There is a line she tried to cross
Our love felt like war; she fell at a loss.
What do you make of it?
These word were only recently written but actually in response to an experience I went through about two months ago. I’d remained friends with someone I initially met in April. We’d agreed to be friends and nothing more but, I often felt as though she found this difficult; perhaps trying to suppress greater emotions of her own. Her attitude changed when I told her about May, even though she was encouraging at first. At times, it felt like she was trying to manipulate me for her own personal gain… That may be a perception inspired by my own anxieties but, she was certainly very direct and not afraid to give me her opinion.
It really did feel as though she was too strong; telling me what to do. When you turn to a friend or family member to talk, all you really need in return is an ear. Sometimes, it’s hard for them to understand this when they care so much but, giving you their opinion doesn’t help. When you’re suffering alone, you don’t need advice. You need an understanding – that is, I’ve found, what counselling offers, through another perspective. My counsellor never gives me instruction. If fate is real then, I guess that ‘April’ and I aren’t meant to be friends, as we haven’t spoken since we fell out.
It did hurt but, to be honest, it never felt that comfortable. Sometimes, you do need to go with your instincts; I’ve been starting to believe that recently. At least now, we can both move on.
Thank you for reading my ramblings and words. 🙂