Every now and again, usually when I’m feeling low, frustrated and full of some kind of emotion, I tried to express my thoughts down on to a page in a small notebook. This all started when I used to live alone and went through a terrible relationship with someone at the start of this year. Actually, I started writing my thoughts down three-years ago, before I’d moved out, when I was growing tired of living with my mum and her selfish, tart-like behaviour… I did find it easier having more ‘alone time’ though, which you don’t get in a shared house. Now though, my main aim is to try and transform my thoughts from words and in to poems. Sometimes, limericks are easier and more enjoyable!
There’s one poem(?) that I wrote a couple of months ago and I’d like to share it with you today. It was not long after I met ‘May’ in person and I went through a state of feeling as though I was being and had been ‘used’ in some way… Now, I see things more positively and I do not hold her own feelings and emotions against her.
It’s a Bank Holiday Monday, the rain is pouring down outside and, as I don’t currently have anything better to do with my time, I thought I’d write about another memorable dream (nothing planned for the day, although have my eye on my sister’s birthday cake – I should try to find the card I bought for her as well!). This one occurred around Christmas time 2007; on the even of 2008, nearly five-years ago now.
This blog’s only been running for a few days and I’m trying quite hard to get some content on here in the hope of bringing in an audience of followers and readers. Along with that, I also read my share of other blogs (one of the reasons I decided to start anonymously blogging about my own thoughts and fears – this is a unique community) and I’ve noticed how some other bloggers seem to have these incredible, lucid dreams. I struggle to remember many of mine as they seem so brief at times and the memory is so faint once I awaken. There are a couple that I can recall from recent weeks and I’d like to try and share one of them with you now. It didn’t just stay in my mind because it was ‘memorable’; it actually terrified me! Continue reading →
So, I mentioned in my last post that I’m deeply in love with someone. Having not truly felt this way before, I’d like to talk about it here and get a few things out of my head and off of my chest. I do not know for certain that this is a feeling of love… How do you know?! But, I’ve felt physical attractions towards people of the opposite sex before and, this is certainly much more than that!
I’d like to make this next post about the ‘issues’ I have concerning my relationship with my father. It’s something that’s been on my mind recently and I cannot honestly remember a time where I have felt ‘comfortable’ in his presence. This is something I was intending to discuss recently with my counsellor but, we somehow bypassed it for now. I must admit that I’m quite afraid of talking about it. Nothing I’ve discussed in counselling so far (I started going just over one month ago) has come close to upsetting me and I fear as though there is something about this issue that is really going to hurt. I just don’t know what it is or why!
For my first post here and, as I welcome you to this blog, I’d like to try and go back to my childhood to talk about something that plagued me for several years; eating away at my social confidence while possibly giving birth to the anxieties that would later go on to plague my every day life.