As today doesn’t seem to be getting any ‘better’, I can’t even find the local news on TV and, with all the clouds in the sky causing darkness to creep in early, I find myself again sat at my laptop, ready to share at least one more poem with you today.
This was written in mid-to-late June, only hours after meeting ‘May’ in person for the very first time, on a rare sunny day (at least until the evening), after weeks of chatting online.
Just wanted to share this post with you all. In my counselling session last week, we talked about the risks associated with striving for the impossible (perfection) and how we should instead learn to appreciate and accept our own, personal ‘excellence’.
The pressure to be perfect can be often overwhelming.
by Lisa Boyle of Fashion Hungry
When conjuring up the image of a perfectionist, what often springs to mind is an immaculate, glossy-haired woman with a spick and span house and an impressive career to boot. However while many perfectionists may seem perfectly in control on the outside, on the inside they might be telling a whole different story.
I have always been a bit of a perfectionist. Whether it comes to work, keeping fit or organising work events, I get utterly frustrated if things don’t go as planned. To paint a clearer picture – when things don’t go seamlessly, I often end up a crumpled, neurotic mess. I’m not sure what drives my need to get things perfect – but I am sure there are many women out there who can relate.
Flicking through the pages, there’s another piece of my ‘short-writing’ that I’d like to share with you right now. The afternoon is passing quickly and my thoughts are already turning to waking up at 6am (usually sooner), ready for another depressing day at work, starting at 7am. I hate the day-job I have now, about as much as I’ve hated every other; each one for different reasons.
What I hate most of all though, is that I don’t ever seem to do anything on a weekend. I went out to see family yesterday afternoon but, I’ve spent most of today lying in bed, listening to music. I could blame the rain but, it’s not really the weather’s fault. I’m like this every Sunday; living the same old routine, without actually ‘living’, or so it feels.
Life should be about balance, I believe – and, that is something I do not have right now.
Every now and again, usually when I’m feeling low, frustrated and full of some kind of emotion, I tried to express my thoughts down on to a page in a small notebook. This all started when I used to live alone and went through a terrible relationship with someone at the start of this year. Actually, I started writing my thoughts down three-years ago, before I’d moved out, when I was growing tired of living with my mum and her selfish, tart-like behaviour… I did find it easier having more ‘alone time’ though, which you don’t get in a shared house. Now though, my main aim is to try and transform my thoughts from words and in to poems. Sometimes, limericks are easier and more enjoyable!
There’s one poem(?) that I wrote a couple of months ago and I’d like to share it with you today. It was not long after I met ‘May’ in person and I went through a state of feeling as though I was being and had been ‘used’ in some way… Now, I see things more positively and I do not hold her own feelings and emotions against her.
It’s a Bank Holiday Monday, the rain is pouring down outside and, as I don’t currently have anything better to do with my time, I thought I’d write about another memorable dream (nothing planned for the day, although have my eye on my sister’s birthday cake – I should try to find the card I bought for her as well!). This one occurred around Christmas time 2007; on the even of 2008, nearly five-years ago now.
This blog’s only been running for a few days and I’m trying quite hard to get some content on here in the hope of bringing in an audience of followers and readers. Along with that, I also read my share of other blogs (one of the reasons I decided to start anonymously blogging about my own thoughts and fears – this is a unique community) and I’ve noticed how some other bloggers seem to have these incredible, lucid dreams. I struggle to remember many of mine as they seem so brief at times and the memory is so faint once I awaken. There are a couple that I can recall from recent weeks and I’d like to try and share one of them with you now. It didn’t just stay in my mind because it was ‘memorable’; it actually terrified me! Continue reading →
So, I mentioned in my last post that I’m deeply in love with someone. Having not truly felt this way before, I’d like to talk about it here and get a few things out of my head and off of my chest. I do not know for certain that this is a feeling of love… How do you know?! But, I’ve felt physical attractions towards people of the opposite sex before and, this is certainly much more than that!