Day 6 – Something You Hope You Never Have to Do

I’ve had a ‘day off’ from this thirty-day challenge as I was feeling quite tired last night and just wanted to enjoy the memories of a grand day in the outdoors (it’s pouring with rain today and there’s a chill in there are so, there won’t be any chance of a repeat just yet).

Day 6 – Something I Hope I Never Have to Do

There probably are many answers to this one but, there’s only one that came rushing to the forefront of my mind when I read the title.

Throughout most of my life (particularly since childhood), I’ve felt very isolated at times. Even when I’m living with and surrounded by others, I haven’t had many friendships that have felt so true or meaningful. I find it hard to connect with people sometimes, even when I can see a bond between us. It always dies off and, despite my efforts, I’m never able to resurrect things.

But, I’m feeling better and more optimistic these days about finding friends. Counselling has helped, as has getting out and about on the weekends, I’ve already started an evening course that is introducing me to new people and sharing (I may do another after this) and, I’m looking to join a local walking group fairly soon as well. So, right now, I’m feeling that I will have some proper friends to call my own, in the not too distant future. 🙂

I still long for that feeling of closeness, with the sensations of love and romance that come with it. Some day, I do hope to find it, if I’m not on that path already.

My biggest fear then, would be of having to say goodbye to someone I dearly love. I’ve lost family members (aunties, uncles, grandparents) over  the years to various incurable illnesses. I can’t remember the last time someone I knew died naturally of old age. I’ve lived through all of that with the support of family around me but, later in life, if my wife, my significant other, was to be ‘taken’ from me in any way or form… I don’t think I could handle that. I certainly couldn’t love again. It would drag me to the depths of lows far deeper than what I have already experienced and I don’t know if I would honestly find my way back up to the surface.

That is my biggest fear in life.

Sorry to end this on a bit of a ‘downer’ but, it is Monday tomorrow, after all! 😛

Seriously though, it is hypothetical and there’s a good chance (I believe) that I won’t have to face this. 🙂

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One comment on “Day 6 – Something You Hope You Never Have to Do

  1. Well done on your honesty. I think it’s good that these blogs can help us to be more honest with ourselves isn’t it. All the best

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