My first thought on this one takes me back to the time around and preceding my A-Levels, which should’ve ended in the summer of 2003 (but, I dropped out). The fact that I was going to quit seemed inevitable throughout the second year so, I don’t regret that decision now as much as I used to…
Day 23 – Something I Wish I Had Done in My Life
I’m not one of those people who’s been presented with an array of amazing opportunities (sky diving, bungee jumping, etc.) but has decided to turn them down, through fear. Good things do happen in my life but, at 27, I still feel as though I’m ‘too young’ to have a life that’s full of much regret. That’s not how I’ve always felt but, through counselling and also, by facing up to this truth challenge and blogging generally, I’ve begun to view certain points in my life under new light.
I’m quite sure that I talked about school and my A-Levels on a different day so, I’m going to try and come up with something different for this day.
Back in January 2008, I almost-spontaneously quit a job working for a company I’d known for very-nearly six-years. I didn’t know quite what to do next and it would take over two-and-a-half years before I found my next position. Looking back and, even living through it then, if felt like a long time ‘wasted’. I was at college but, only two-days a week. Aside from looking for work, I feel like I could’ve done something more with my free time. I didn’t have the confidence to think about self-employment but, as I remember, I had over £14,000 in my current account…
It’s been a VERY long time since I’ve been able to say that!!!
I do wish as though I’d done something meaningful with all this free time and money, as I fear I’ll never see a lump sum like that in my bank account again. I’ve been trying to rebuilt it for the past two-years but, I’m only one-tenth of the way there and I may have less in my savings accounts than before.
Travelling would’ve been amazing. Not so much back-packing but, I could’ve flown around the world a bit and seen some of the far-away lands that fascinate me. These are all big ‘ifs’, even today, as I still lack the self-confidence and a holding-hand to get everything booked, packed and to find myself on that plane (I don’t have a fear of flying, by the way, even though it’s been eight-years since my last voyage).
Thinking more realistically, I wish I’d spent more of my time simply being productive. I was keeping myself busy and active in one of my favourite hobbies; isolating myself within the family garage. All day, every day; barely saying a word to anyone who wasn’t on an internet forum. I could’ve taken some short courses (as I’m finally doing now) and explored my writing already. I might already have found my way back in to art and drawing or developed some new interests. Maybe even learnt to play that guitar I didn’t own at the time… I could’ve gotten myself out there and in to meeting people, I feel, instead of forcing myself to spend so many days on my own.
Heck, even if I’d have found the courage to try a couple of dating sites, who knows where I could be right now… I might not even be sat writing this! 😉