What is ‘Genuine’?

I’m weak… I said I was going to resist contacting her for now but, I gave in, only to let her know how my day went and to assume that she was doing quite well. She replied to say quite the opposite. She was glad to hear from me and, of my day but, it’s clear that there’s something very, very wrong in their relationship. She is desperately unhappy. I felt like she was trying to reach out to me so, I offered a hand. In fact, I did a bit more than that by asking her if she’d like to talk about it (even after she said she hates talking about personal stuff and regrets making things public on social networking sites)… She told me to leave her alone. I won’t quote it properly because it was all written in upper-case with lots of exclamation marks behind. I am surprise she didn’t unfriend me on the spot but then, I have left her alone and it’s clear that she’s in a very dark and lonely place.

I worry about her but, once again, I’ve realised that I cannot help someone who is not prepared (or afraid) to help themselves.

A little while after that and, still online, I received a message from someone on a dodgy dating site (POF). She said I seemed genuine but, having spoken to her for a couple of hours, I’m beginning to feel that the word (genuine) is only true in the eye of the beholder (like beauty and perfection). At first, she seemed very ‘genuine’, sharing my interest in walking and we had more in common. I asked about her writing and she offered to show me some of her work…

I could see in her profile that she wrote ‘erotic novels‘ – can you see where this is going?! Still, I thought she might have sent me a poem or something… Anything but a scene involving two characters (the two of us) ‘going at it’ and, erm, doing a bit more after that!!! I didn’t know how to react without the risk of offending her. She explained again that she writes erotic novels and so, I continued, wanting to believe that it was just something she created out of her mind…

Wrong. She asked me to write the next scene!!!

I really hate to admit this part but, after much hesitation, I did it. She seemed to like it. Very much. So much, in fact, that it apparently ‘stimulated’ her… I didn’t respond, just staring at these words on the screen. Next, up came the video chat request and, before declining the invitation, I could hear something through my speakers, as if she was getting ready and setting herself up… Oh, dear!!!

Next thing you know, she left the chat and, I’m assuming she’s either blocked me or maybe she’s deleted her profile altogether. I wanted to send her a message apologising. She sounded very keen to go on a walk at some point but, I dread to think of what she might’ve wanted to do afterwards…

It’s a shame, though. For that first hour (or less), I was quite looking forward to the prospect of visiting Cheltenham and having someone to enjoy a walk with. It’s almost enough to make me remove myself from that site but hey, at least it proves that it’s not only men who have the ‘wrong intentions‘ on these dating sites… I guess some women are just more coy about it! 😛

8 comments on “What is ‘Genuine’?

  1. i gotta tell you i tried lots of dating sites and never managed a single date, “oh your a single father” was a common theme, well yes i am it says so in the profile of mine that you didnt bother to read.

    • Dating sites are completely demoralising for too much of the time. I wonder why I bother sometimes but then, you find these seemingly outgoing women on there and, I think to myself, where are they really here?

      I’ve met three people in almost a year but have never had an official date. I think many women (on these sites) are too set in their minds on what they want and ‘need’ in a person (…and their bank account!). There are plenty of single mums out there. One once messaged me if I would like to ‘help out a single mum who’s struggling to make ends meet’… :-S That girl I spoke to last night didn’t read my profile either but hey, I’ll take some confidence from it – I can’t be as bad looking as I used to believe! 😀

  2. aallegoric says:

    I’m sorry you had this awkward experience. But I’m sure you can laugh at it in hindsight. 😉

  3. Derik says:

    You should try http://daterreview.com if your using POF, or any dating site for that matter. Awesome… weed out the fakes…

  4. Sparrow says:

    I use POF too (though currently my profile is hidden)…there are some nice people to be met on there. Probably about the same proportion as you would find in real life. Don’t give up on it 🙂

    I’m not sure what to make of May’s reaction…it’s a bit confusing. If she does need a friend, I can see your reluctance to curb the contact. You have to consider whether remaining her friend is going to hurt you though. If she knows how you feel about her, she should understand why you may need to withdraw for a bit.

  5. Linda says:

    I met my partner on OkCupid, and have heard from people that used both that it’s a better site. There are lots of guys on it that live around here so I can only assume there are ladies there too! hehe. might be worth a try. I think you have to write a lot more on okc, so you get a better idea of the person. I did end up meeting a guy that turned out a complete t*** though.

    • Hi Linda,

      I’m pleased to hear that you were able to meet someone genuine on OKC. There are plenty of local women but, I rarely seem to hear back from anyone on this particular site. Ironically, the ones I score mostly highly with on our match percentage haven’t been online for many months! I dip in and out of this one, deactivating and reactivating my profile but, it’s rare that I ever find any new members.

      POF really is horrible, even though I was fortunate to meet someone there in May. The poor layout of the site and its design should be enough to deter most people but instead, it’s the most popular one in the UK, I believe.

      Thanks for your comment. 🙂

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