It hasn’t taken long at all for me to realise how I’m going to respond to today’s challenge. The thought arrived almost immediately, in fact.
Day 29 – Something I Hope to Change About Myself. And Why.
As you might have already seen in earlier posts, just over two-months ago, I finally found the courage to contact a local counsellor in the hope of combatting my symptoms of depression, while later discovering that I also suffer from a form of social anxiety. I’ve not been officially diagnosed by either a GP or a psychiatrist but I do still feel confident in the help I’ve received already and, everything that I still have to gain in future sessions.
But, that one’s probably a given answer! 😉
I know I’ve made progress already and, each weekend, I prove to myself that I can face up to leaving the house and interacting with ‘life’ quite confidently, even if I’m still not immersed within strong social situations. To be more specific about my hope, I’d like to be able to gain a more confident state of mind. One that doesn’t over-think as much as it does now, so that I can relax a bit more when I am with people and, hopefully, find the means to keep up and participate in conversations. Right now, it seems like I’m only able to do this with a very small minority of individuals (we’re talking about ‘real life’, away from the laptop).
I’m comfortable with my appearance and every thing like that but, my own mind can drive me crazy (as you’ve recently been witnessing through my posts on the complicated situation with May). I now realise that I do have the strength to lead a more active and enjoyable life. I only wish it was less lonesome.
Very soon, I aim to start a course of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) with my counsellor, which should help me to ‘change’ my thinking patterns and, in turn, affecting my regular thoughts for the better. I may’ve said that I stopped counselling recently because of all the money leaving my bank account recently but, I also found that I ran out of things to talk about. Maybe I need to try a bit harder on my own as well, because I’ve completely broken the habit of my routine meditations.