Day 12 – Something You Never Get Compliments On

This one has been sat in my drafts folder for a number of weeks now. I know that I’ve had situations in the past where I didn’t get praised for things I felt were going un-noticed. That was in a previous job (or two) but now, that aspect of my work receives better respect (even if I don’t always receive direct or sincere appraisal for it). I’ve been thinking of how to answer this one and, very recently, I came to the realisation that I’m not even sure who I would be seeking the appraisal(s) from…

Someone at work? A family member? Non-existent friend?! Some I meet or have met through a dating website?

Day 12 – Something I Never Get Compliments On

A rather obvious one would be that no-one else can genuinely see how difficult it is for me to get up out of bed and face each day as it comes. Even more so, when I take a step outside the front door and go to work or, even on one of my walking day trips. My counsellor has praised me for it in the past but, again, depression and anxiety are the kind of symptoms that others will recognise unless they’ve been affected themselves.

I don’t always enjoy my job. I dislike the company I work for and I don’t intend to stick with this forever. But, I take a lot of pride in what I do and certain people do notice it. I sometimes get a ‘warm’ word from a supervisor but higher management will walk right past without even saying hello. It doesn’t feel like a company in which I could naturally progress. I’m one of the few people in this firm with skills and previous experience but, like all the rest; I’m not employed for that. It’s not appreciated as we’re often expected to do things ‘their way’. So, that’s something.

Before I worked where I am now, people would criticise me for not being aware of things going on around me. Quite the opposite was true though, and my own paranoia/anxieties would often leave me feeling as though I had to ‘avoid’ altering things in case someone else noticed and questioned it, regardless of my core beliefs on the matter. Now, I’m one of the first to spot a mistake in other peoples’ work and I’m often first to report an error somewhere down the production line, as soon as I spot it. But, that’s as far as it goes.

I’m struggling to think of anything else…

It would be nice if more people complimented me on my hair – or, at the very least, stopped mocking me for it. It doesn’t bother me as much as it might’ve done a few years ago (my hair’s quite long, for a guy and it’s also quite thick and a bit curly). Maybe I seek acceptance rather than praise for this? We’re all different and we each have our own ways of expressing ourselves.

That’s all I have.

6 comments on “Day 12 – Something You Never Get Compliments On

  1. meandanxiety says:

    I’m sorry to hear that you get mocked for your hair, some people are ridiculous. However, you ever thought about just going… stuff it, and getting it cut short? Not saying that you should do it because of being mocked, it’s just sometimes a new hair cut can make us feel a bit different and more confident. I felt like this when I grew my hair out! Also, hair always grows back, so if you didn’t like it, it’s not the end of the world! 🙂 I know you said that you don’t like other people cutting your hair, but maybe you could find someone who’s recommended? Just an idea! 🙂

    • Hi Maxi,

      It’s okay, really. It used to bother me a few years ago when I genuinely had a fear of even letting my dad cut it but, I’ve actually learnt to cut my own hair since 2009 and that suits me fine.

      It’s not really that hard, at least the way I do it… Having hair that’s never straight does mean that any minor flaws are well hidden. 😉

      I’ve only met and worked with a few people who complement me on it and, they’re usually the ones with longer hair themselves. It is almost always only bald or blading people who mock.

      It was just a thought in response to the question. It really doesn’t bother me that much. It’s the way I want to be and, although I might consider chopping it all off one day, I won’t do it to satisfy anyone else. 🙂

  2. Nothing wrong with being different. Secretly the people who mock wish they had the guts to stand out, and be able to be what they want to be, instead of blindly following! You know what they say; jealousy is the biggest form of compliment! Jealousy is the motivation for 99.9% of viscous and nasty comments or behaviour; so, in theory you ought to feel flattered, as any tormentors wish they were you!.

  3. Sparrow says:

    I find it ridiculous that one adult would mock another adult’s hair. The one doing the mocking is obviously not very enlightened. If someone did that to me, I’d just say “riiiight”, and ignore the comment.

    In my experience, people don’t often give out compliments, I’m not sure why. It may be that they are uncomfortable expressing them, or worry that the receiver would think they have an ulterior motive for giving the compliment? I’m not sure, but it’s not really something to take to heart.

    If you like your hair, then awesome, that is what counts, otherwise changing things up is always fun and a confidence booster 🙂

    At my last job, I worked my ass off and barely got any recognition, and my hard work was always overshadowed by my occasional anxiety attacks. It sucked. The girl next to me only put in half the effort that I did, but got the same amount of recognition. I hated that job anyway.

    Another job I had, the boss was so understanding about my condition, and always praised my efforts. It was a great job (the boss said a prerequisite for working there was that you were a nice person 🙂 ), but ultimately I left (after 3 years) because it was still too stressful. I guess there are good places to work out there, so don’t stay somewhere you aren’t at least a little bit happy.

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