It’s taken me four, if not five weeks to write this post and that, I think, tells you a lot about the procrastinator-side to my personality. I’m not like this in all parts of life; it is largely associated with blogging; wanting to be in the right mood, to write the right piece and at the right time. In all, none of the above really matters, as long as the contents is shared. I do feel awkward for having left this for so long, though.
So, I went shopping and bought a few things. Not from a store and without direct human interaction. This was all through Amazon, one of my favourite online retailers for books and DVDs.
It starts with a DVD from the inspirational Stephen Fry, titled The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive. If you’re in the UK and you’ve been affected by bipolar disorder in any way then, you’ve hopefully heard of this by now. If not then, I urge you to check it out. It’s a great aid to anyone looking to understand more of the condition, with examples of manic depression and also, episodes of mania. There are a few other celebrities featured on this disc but, we’re not talking Ant and Dec or anything like that!! 😛
I first saw this DVD on Valentine’s Day, when ‘January‘ showed it to me; only hours before the estranged world we were sharing decide to catastrophically implode on itself. It is that good that I decided to buy it for myself. Truth is, I’d been wanting to do this for the past eight-months but, I think it was the fear that stopped me; the fear of facing up to my own ‘failure‘ in wanting to love someone with this condition. Meeting ‘May’ reopened my mind to consider this but, even though we started off very well, my fears were again realised once she began to drift in a different direction.
You see, the internet can help us with a fear of going out and shopping amongst the general public. It also allows us to receive items at our (near) convenience. However, there are some fears that it cannot helps us to overcome (in my experience, anyway).
That DVD came from an eBay seller, as it happened to work out considerably cheaper than any of the sellers on Amazon. I did purchase a book from an Amazon seller though, titled When Someone You Love is Bipolar. Again, my fears have only heightened my procrastination in buying this book. It was a title I initially discovered back when I was seeing ‘Jan’, during a Google search to try to understand more about her actions and reactions. It’s been bookmarked by my browser ever since. Having been through more heartache with the news of May’s engagement though, I’m not even sure if I should consider reading this now…
On a more uplifting note, my other two paperbacks (both from Amazon) were written by a familiar face (…Or moose!)
Both titles had been on my hit-list for only a matter of weeks. I have a connection with one of them because some of my own poetry is featured inside (along with many other bloggers on WordPress and beyond) but, there’s no emotional connection with me personally. I mean, I haven’t fallen in love with Garry, only for him to return to his old ways… 😛 I’ve already graced the poetry pages in PDF format (available on SmashWords) but I would like to find the time to sit down and read through his diary (writing that sounds kind of… I have his permission, honest!! :-D).
So, that’s three new books to complement another I purchased back in May (Dan Brown‘s Angles and Demons). I found the Da Vinci Code to be quite fascinating. Both books are meant to be even better so, I’d like to try and finish that book (once I’ve stated) before settling in to the film adaptation.
I now have plenty of reading to do. I’ve got the time to do it now, with the reduced daylight and all but, it feels like a monumental effort that I need to concise and simplify. Which one book do I begin with? My brain says Garry’s diary but, my heart is still holding out for bipolar…
I’ll be buying at least two new books shortly covering the subject of CBT in a self-help format.