I haven’t made many posts about food on this blog and, following on from a bit of an absence recently due to technical problems at my end (things are looking okay at the moment – touch wood), I feel like just going with this right now and telling you a bit about my diet for the past week.

There’s no doubt about it and, this is something I may’ve touched on before. Since I moved back in to my mum’s house in August, my diet has become anything but fully organised and, with that, there’s always the risk that my health (in some capacity) may have suffered as a consequence.

Saturday was the last day where I ate a complete set of three primary meals – breakfast, lunch and dinner.

My mum’s roast dinner was absent on the Sunday and I didn’t feel compelled to create my own alternative. I took a packed lunch with me on my solo walk but didn’t eat the sandwiches until I’d arrived home, late afternoon. I did start with breakfast.

Monday was an additional day off spent walking around Ashton Court with someone very close to my heart. We set off and met up before lunch but didn’t sit down for a coffee until the sun was beginning to fall. No food was digested and I think I only ate a single apple (at most) later that evening. Oh, I did also start with a bowl of cornflakes for breakfast.

Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday were long days at work. Each started with a bowl of cereal and I consumed my packed lunch within the course of each day. I had ideas set out for small, simple meals to ‘fill’ me in the evenings but, I lacked something to get me going in to the kitchen. Maybe it was enthusiasm.

I’m glad Fridays are only a half-day at work because I really felt myself slowing to a crawl today, especially as I don’t bother to bring any food in for our morning break at 10 0’clock. Along with tiredness, I found myself feeling very ‘dry’ and a headache arrived after I got home, swallowed a plate-full of sandwiches and then realised that I need to empty my bowels (sorry for the TMI! :-P). That may sound a lot like dehydration. Tiredness may also play a factor, as I didn’t get home last night (from my writing group and then a shopping trip) until 9pm. I needed to be in work only ten-hours later.

Tonight, I have a pizza in the fridge. It should really be in the freezer but, mine’s only a small compartment and it would never fit unless I sliced it in to quarters…

I might have talked about this before but, I believe that my ‘lack of eating’ is related to my fears of using the toilet cubicles at work, especially as I’m only skipping evenings meals. If I didn’t have to start work so early, I reckon I’d have a better chance of ‘digesting’ my food before leaving the house. Sometimes, I’ll hold it in for hours until I return to the comfort of a familiar bathroom. Other times, I’ll walk in to the toilets at the right time and it’ll be clear, with no-one else around.

It is awkward, for me, trying to make my way in my mum’s kitchen. I don’t feel comfortable doing my own thing. It just feels like it’s not worth the effort, being and living within someone else’s rules. I’m hoping to move out again next month and it cannot come soon enough.

My enthusiasm for writing this has suddenly gone; blown away, with the words, in a breeze of cold air. It’s dawned on me that the weekend is here and, even though it’s rare for me to have any set plans, I’m ‘immobile’, as I won’t have my van back from its MOT until Monday at the earliest. That means no walking and no photography. Sorry, it’s all just coming down over me right now. I didn’t mean to end the post in this way but, I suppose I have that pizza to look forward to and then a take-away tomorrow night. I hate feeling ‘trapped’ here and the absence of a vehicle only heightens that.

Much shopping bags frequently contain a large quantity of chocolate, which is kind of a feel-good/comfort treat after a day at work. I’ve also started buying packs of cupcakes and sometimes biscuits and cookies, too. Do I need to be careful or, am I mindful enough already?



6 comments on “Diet

  1. Pen says:

    I don’t eat at work partially because I also don’t like to use the restroom in public. I will go in there to escape my desk (which is in the middle of a hallway and has no privacy for me to check my phone or anything), but I just sit in the stall looking at my phone.

    I think your mindfulness is high. You certainly remember what and when you’ve eaten better than me. I really only associate food with people or events (like I had dinner with my boyfriend last night, or I snacked at a work luncheon event on Tuesday). I don’t really remember what foods I eat, more the number of bites I took (I limit myself to a maximum of 7 per sitting).

    I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling trapped. I’m having a bit of housing-stress myself. Sending lots of warm and strengthening thoughts!

  2. Well food is fuel for sure, I try to be as healthy as I can be, but I enjoy being a little naughty too! I was over strict a few years ago, wouldn’t even eat dinner at my parent’s house for fear of unknown calories! That had to stop, and it did. I eat, but don’t over indulge, I am healthy without being obsessed, I exercise now without it interfering in my life! It is all about balance.

    I get what you say about being at home in your Mum’s though, I was like that too for me before I moved out, but now whenever I return I can take over the kitchen if I want to!! Its like the power of the parent relinquishes when you no longer live under their roof.

    I think you need to plan and make time, food is a habit and a schedule – make a bad habit and forget to schedule and you rely on bad food choices. If you know it is no good then make the change!

    Big hugs, Bex 🙂

    • Come on, Bex – what happened to your curfew?!?!? ;-D

      Thank you, though. I agree about the need to set a regular routine. That’s something that is mentioned in the book I think I briefly spoke about in the e-mail. 🙂

      But then, I could be moving in a few weeks… I then ponder; why bother trying to set a routine now when I’m going to be ‘better’ once I’m out again?…

      • I know eh, it is well and truly broken!!! Oh well, it is Friday!! 🙂

        Yeah, I have read through the emails and am planning to reply. I have become carried away today, and even commented on other blogs!!!!!!! What is happening to me?! So, I will get back with more to you tomorrow!!

        I know, but start as you mean to go on; or that is what my Dad always says anyway! Think he is right actually.

        Just begin, but do it as small steps.


  3. rbmilligan says:

    You could absolutely change your life, if you changed the way you eat.

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