It’s not very often that I have dreams and I’ve never really been sure if that it isn’t a sign that a part of my life needs to change. Dreams are a natural process of the subconscious, right? Maybe a lack of regular sleep is a factor. That’s certainly been a habit of late; waking up frequently during the night and early mornings. Deliberately staying up late and, with time off work, laying in bed until it’s almost noon.
One night in this last week though, I had a dream involving two women (calm down) that I’d like to try and share.
In my mind, the images are as sketchy as they were the moment I woke up. How is it that you remember every scene and action so clearly while you’re dreaming away?!
There were two main characters (besides myself) who I can remember and one of them was recognisable. She’s a girl who was on the writing course I finished recently. Probably about my age. I’m not going to deny that I felt a slight attraction towards her for (now, I’m definitely not sharing this blog with my former-group!!!) but, we never really knew each other, aside from the odd comments made regrading work, inside the classroom.
Dreams (Photo credit: hufse)
This dream was set in a building with several different rooms. There wasn’t a plain or bare wall in sight; each one was covered with coloured paper, posters and the like. It must have been a creative space; maybe even a representation of the building where we both studied. Moving from one room to the next (I don’t think this happened more than four times), all I ever seemed to do was hurt her, each time she followed me in, sometime after.
We’re not talking physical hurt, here; it’s purely emotional. I didn’t want to hurt her but, I seemed to find myself sitting an talking with an unrecognised, indistinguishable blonde girl. She’d be sat at a desk, alone and I’d take the seat next to her. Each time, the girl (let’s call her ‘Francesca‘) would walk in towards me and see us. I’d turn around or look up to see the pain and disappointment in her eyes, before she vacates the room.
Fran tiene caspa… (Photo credit: Guesus)
I’m not usually attracted to blondes (no disrespect) so, I don’t see much relevance there. If I interpret the ‘Blondie’ as a representation of May (who has dark hair) then, I can relate to this more. Because, in my hope of being with the one person, I know that I distance myself from others even more. Opening one door and locking all others? I’m not going to begin questioning what I do feel for May but, I’ve always seen ‘Fran’ as a kind of ‘second choice’ or backup plan… Morally, I’m quite sure that’s wrong, especially as I sensed (as I often do) that she either liked or was intrigued by me and would’ve liked to have known more, if only I’d made an effort. I’ve thought about e-mailing her since the course finished (to ask what the books was that she bought in on the last day). Maybe I’ll do that some time. If I’m as honest with May as I intend to be in 2013 and she rejects me then, my hand will surely be forced.
That’s the only way I can interpret this faded dream. If you have any thoughts of your own then, I welcome them. You may feel that you don’t know me personally so, I’m happy to receive generalised interpretations, if anyone is educated in such fields.
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