Dream of Forgotten Past

Last night, during a dream, I found myself sat in a large room in a one-to-one type situation. In fact, I vaguely remember driving to this venue (in a car I scrapped almost two-years ago) along with my sister, who I think had somewhere to go (quite possibly school, which she finished in 2005).

I was sat on the other side of this desk, in a room otherwise empty, apart from a solid door in one corner. My sister sat alone against the wall, behind the woman I had come to see, close to the door. She actually got up and left part-way through this meeting, as if she did indeed have somewhere else to be at this time. Not a word was said; she just upped and walked out.

This woman, as I understand it, was a ‘second counsellor’ for me. She was quite young though and blonde… I’d have said less than forty years old. She actually reminded me a bit of one of my history teachers from school. In fact, the room and corridor layout were both similar to the classrooms in that block or building of the school.

I found myself opening a thick, heavy book. I think this woman gave it to me but, it was as if she’d never opened or read it. As I flicked through the pages, I realised that each page was covered with photographs of myself, at a very young age. There were annotations and comments added to highlight certain events along my early timeline. I remember feeling good as I looked through these pages. These were all memories that I had forgotten from my childhood; those times when I did look happy. I felt like crying.

My ‘new counsellor’ said something as I was looking; it was along the lines of “You used to like chicken“. That might not have been it but, I remember feeling delight that she had ‘remembered’ after all these years and without opening the book… I can remember smiling about that and feeling happy.

Then, she said something else, with her head focused only on the pages she was writing on. She told me that she was ending our sessions together (as if I’d been there several times), because I was very much my “mother’s son“. I felt confusion as I left the room; nothing more or less. I next found myself sat in a kind of waiting area; sorely tempted to knock on the door and ask for an explanation but, I was afraid. This door was larger and darker than I had realised before. It was as if a closed door meant that no-one was allowed to enter. I knew she’d be busy inside, writing a summary (or, whatever you call it) of the day’s session.

Straight away, I can relate the book toย  yesterday’s daily writing prompt although, I do believe that the book in this dream only depicted my past. I do have a fear of meeting a new counsellor or starting a new course of therapy, only to be told at some point that, again, I’m not wanting to help myself. As much as I’m keen to move out in to my own place again very soon, I also feel a pressure to do what is right for my mum, by staying put and helping her to prepare the house for sale.

But, I don’t know why my sister was there… I used to drive her around a lot (mostly, while I was also unemployed). I did look back through childhood photos with my last (only) counsellor in one session and, yes, I did look like a happy and joyful child… I’ve never been able to remember that. None of it seemed real. I could recognised many items and faces within each photo, just not the boy in the middle, with a care-free smile on his face.

As usual, I also open this one to your own interpretation. ๐Ÿ™‚


9 comments on “Dream of Forgotten Past

  1. goodjohnjr says:

    Thank you for sharing your dream Brandon Bored and you did a great job remembering it & writing the dream in a detailed way, you did very well. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I like these type of dreams that add real and/or fake memories of your past and puts them into dreams as objects like photographs/toys/rooms/various other types of objects; and your dream seemed to probably deal with some of your current thoughts/feelings/experiences/fears/et cetera as well in the form of providing some insight and/or practice facing certain knowledge/information/situations that can help you with something in your current life.

    It is rare to come across someone else sharing a dream, it is even more rare to have someone remember more details of their dream and write/type it in a nice detailed way, also that person also suffers from problems with anxiety & depression, also that person probably also lives with one or more of their parent’s, and that person may also be in & out of employment/un-employment; if so, welcome to the club, you are not the only one ๐Ÿ˜‰ , and good luck in accomplishing your goals & getting the help you need to keep moving forward in life. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    -John Jr

  2. Thanks for stopping by and for linking my article! What a fascinating dream- I think it is a wonderful gift to have such natural insight into its meaning. Some people fear analyzing their subconscious, either because they think it is foolish to find understanding in a dream or else because they dread what they might learn about themselves. Your writing here is a reassurance to all of us that we are truly not alone. Brava! May the Twelve be with you, Brandon who is not really Brandon =]

  3. Hi,
    Fascinating deamscape, so much detail! I always think dreams are highly insightful; I love to dream as without them I feel stifled.
    I wonder if you will relate some more to use, like a journal of dreams!
    Bex ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Hi Bex,

      I do intend to start scribbling these down in a notebook so that I can keep track of what happens and when. ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Hi you!

        Cool, that is a great idea!!! It prompt some great poetry!!!!!!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

      • goodjohnjr says:

        Good, that helps improve your dream recall (as well as sharing your dreams with people and listening to/reading other people’s dreams), at least from my experiences sharing some of my dreams on my blog & with people & rarely reading/hearing other peoples dream (sadly most people do not share their dreams that much from my experiences); which has led to me being able to remember over a thousand dreams since 2007, thanks to improved dream recall. ๐Ÿ™‚

        Good luck Brandon Bored. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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