Last night, only one half-an-hour past midnight, I had one of those weird dreams where I wasn’t sure if I was awake, asleep or if there really was ‘someone else’ in my room with me. This one probably counts as Sleep Paralysis more than the two other incidents I’ve experienced less than twelve-months.
I was lying in bed; almost on my back but favouring my right-hand side. Suddenly, that familiar sound appeared in the back of my head; in the same spot as last time. Like a distorted radio frequency; much quieter than the last time. I could just about hear mention of my name from a male voice that I did not recognise. It put the fear in me but, I felt ready to tell it to leave me alone this time. I even tried but, for whatever reason, the words would’ve come out.
I also realised that I couldn’t physically move. ‘Something’ was holding both of my wrists down on to the pillow and I felt its weight on top of my legs and stomach. ‘He’ continued talking. I couldn’t make out what he was saying (the voice was distant) but I did catch one line where he insisted he was going to or could eat the fingers from my right-hand, “like Jelly Babies“.
My eyes were open but my sight was only partial with the duvet covering most of my face (I often like to wrap up). It was also very dark; the street light that usually highlights my room goes off at midnight. I wasn’t wearing my glasses but still, I couldn’t see anyone.
I was trying to talk; to tell him to get off. I wanted to shout for help and I did make a whimpering noise but still, the feeling persisted. I even felt ‘him’ put his full weight in to my legs and stomach. It was painful and yet, through the whole experience, I couldn’t help but feel reminded of how my dad would treat me as a kid.
After only a few minutes, all was gone. I looked around… Nothing. I could move freely. I could speak clearly. My nightmare was over as I gradually decreased my breathing to a calm and relaxed pace.
I feel quite certain that this could well be a case of true sleep paralysis. Possibly triggered by my irregular sleeping patterns. But also, it seems strange to have happened less than one hour after going to bed. I had a pretty active day walking yesterday and I was very tired physically by the end of it. My experience after my granddad’s death was more ‘real’ than this one. Last week, mum bought home half of his ashes. As soon as I looked at the bag (not in it), I felt uncomfortable. It was like a gaping hole inside of my body had suddenly been filled… Does that make any sense to you?!