More Thoughts on Friends

Again, I was reminded of how writing here and sharing my thoughts anonymously can be a benefit to myself. The simply act of putting words on to screen helped to settle my mind last night and I awoke this morning with a pretty stable state of mentality.

So, tonight, I’m going to share one of my fears about friends in general and we’re talking about good friends here but of no-one in particular. It’s a small thought that’s lingered for a long time and I’m interested to hear the thoughts of others on this idea.

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Final Draft

It does concern me a little, in that I’m beginning to write here a little more regularly than I have done. But I don’t feel the same ‘need’ to unleash waves of negativity and sorrow, as I have done at times in the past. Writing the post last night reminded me that this does help, as some of my blurred thoughts (or at least, their intensity) began to subside. I was able to begin the day in a better frame of mind.

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‘Release Me’

I’m wanting to write but the words aren’t quite there. I’ve never been great at pin-pointing a thought, let alone determining where it’s come from. I can’t decided whether to try and write here or whether to e-mail my friend privately, as I know she would be there. Maybe I just need some more time to think, without going over it all too much.

My intention today was to share with you a song this evening. Several hours ago, it was going to be the second single from Pearl Jam‘s forthcoming album (which I can barely stop whistling at work and replaying in my mind). Perhaps you’ll have to wait until next week for that one, if you’re not already off to YouTube.

But another Pearl Jam song popped up on my feed earlier on and that’s what I’ve decided to share. A track that has always resonated a sense of power with untamed emotion. This live recording barely disappoints.

Although, I’m open to interpretations as to what happens to Eddie Vedder right before the end! 🙂

And, the lyrics…

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No Friend of Mine

I feel a bit of a rant coming on this afternoon… When something or someone irritates me, this is my way of choosing to deal with that emotion. I stop and assess where some might make a spontaneous decision. I choose to write here instead of biting back at any other person.

No sooner had I written once previously about saying ‘goodbye’ to someone and how I finally felt like I was moving on from that… This same person surprisingly emerged days later and on Facebook of all places!

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Something New

It’s been a few weeks since I last logged-in and wrote here and that also means that you’ve ‘missed’ the end to my CBT course. It was strange last week; to arrive home on a Monday evening with nowhere to go… At the same time though, it was welcome to have an evening at the start of a long week where I could just relax!

As that course ended, we were encouraged to ‘fill that space’ with something. If we’re able to allow ourselves to spend two hours of one evening each week on doing something that we want to do; an activity from which we’ll benefit then surely, that space remains available for a different activity.

I’ve been aware (and interested) that Positive Step offer an eight-week course in Mindfulness. But attending that course is not as straight-forward as you might expect… A telephone conversation/interview with the course leader is required before hand, so that you can both assess whether it will suit you personally. Because it requires quite a commitment for anyone not currently practising on a very regular basis… You’re required to practice mindfulness for forty-five minutes each and every night in your own spare time! But also, the next course doesn’t start until the new year and so, that would’ve been a rather long wait.

I don’t see any personal benefit from the Anger Management course (which they’ve recently renamed) and without repeating either of the two courses I’ve already completed, that would leave me with just the Assertiveness course to follow… Which I’ve decided to ‘postpone’ for the time being, simply because it is the one offering that involves ROLE PLAY!! :-S

Anyway, this week – tonight, in fact – I’ve begun a new regular dose of doing something that benefits me…

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