Affirmations

It’s been another long time since my previous post and I’d like to begin by wishing a warm and Merry Christmas to everyone who happens upon this post! 🙂 Oh, and I also wish you the very best of success for 2015!

A friend of mine often writes about inner critics (of course, she’s not the only one) and I’m no stranger to effects of self-destruction and low-lying self-esteem.

For while now [to put that in to perspective – I think I first entertained this thought sometime before my last post!], I’ve had it in mind to re-assume writing down my thoughts and until very recently, I’ve been brilliant at creating every excuse not to do this… Then, last week, I finally bought myself a notebook and over the weekend, I grabbed a spare pen to place ink on the first page!

See, I’ve done this kind of thing before; long before I created this blog. Back then, I would simply write out my thoughts and feelings (usually in an evening) and for the most part, it was negative. I was angry or frustrated with something (usually someone) and although it did kind of help me, having a dedicated time and place for such reactions; it also kind of scared me. Hmmmm… This is probably something I should’ve bought up when I was seeing a counsellor!

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As much as I can try to hide it, I believe I am mostly an unhappy person. I’d like to try and change that, which is why, in my new book [ha, I sound like Dan Brown or someone!], I am only going to record positive affirmations and realisations on a day to day basis.

So, yes, going back to the point at which I mentioned an inner critic…

I am coming to realise that something lies within me. I have always been quietly aware of something residing deep inside; only spurred in to life each time I perceive to have done something incorrectly. Until now, I think I could only really associate it with mood and sensation, if that makes any sense… But today, I think it does have a voice.

Am I afraid to listen? Have I been stood behind a defiant choice not to hear it?

When I’m driving somewhere new and can’t find my way, it’s there. As I try and fail (for whatever reason) to speak up and be heard, it’s ready. When I meet someone new who wants to continue conversation, there it is; questioning every single word, motion and mannerism.

I don’t know how to break this. I do not know how I can make it all stop. But I do believe that CBT may provide an answer. I do believe in the power of positive reaffirmations.

The hard part is going to be in resisting procrastination and proceeding to write even a single line, on a daily basis. But I live in my own now. I have the time, space and privacy to leave this book in a convenient location. No-one else will find it.

So, that’s me right now – thanks, as always, for reading!

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2 comments on “Affirmations

  1. Hey there, so happy you have returned to WP!!! Oh, and have a wonderful Christmas and wishing you a stellar New Year too 🙂 Just want to add my thoughts on this; perhaps admitting what you truly are, not feeling ashamed or pressured into change might help you be more happy within yourself?? I know I am more inclined to be a negative individual, I’ve accepted that and that is me, my nature and I have to just ‘roll with it’. What I think works best for us as people is self acceptance. I hate the fact we feel we have to change; who are we changing for? Is is ourselves or is to fit into what we deem is socially acceptable?? Be proud of who you are and make it work for you!! All the best, Bex

    • Hey Bex!!!

      I’m so sorry being so neglectful for so long. I do hope you’re well and that you’ve had a good start to the year.

      If you can find happiness or contentment in being slightly more negative-minded then that could be a good thing. I’m still asking myself a lot of questions but I feel I could now be on a better path towards learning those answers. 🙂

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