About

Hi!

My name isn’t Brandon but I am an big Incubus fan. πŸ˜‰

Brandon Bored is a pseudonym that presents me with time and space to write honestly about what’s really on my mind. I don’t have to worry about other people’s opinions, here. I mean, anyone I know personally who also happens to read this blog is a person I trust explicitly. There are things I’ll write here that I couldn’t confidently post on Facebook, for example.

I’ve never officially been diagonosed with anything but I have generally suffered for many years with anxiety and low mood problems, very much relating to social situations and interactions. I have always suspected I have a form of autism or asperger’s syndrome but I’m as yet, untested. More recent awareness of myself suggests I may have a personality disorder…

I’ve had one-to-one counselling on two recent occasions in my life. Talking helps for a while but it comes to a point where I feel as if it can take me no further. I’m open to trying another form of therapy but I’d also like some direction (like a diagnosis) – this is where simply phoning the doctor for an appointment is a challenge for me and, even after that, I fear I’ll not be believable and nothing new result from it.

If you’ve had some kind of psychiatric assessment after visiting your GP with questions, I’d love to hear from you!

One of the most important things I’ve learned is to take responsibility for your own emotions instead of blaming others. It’s a tricky concept to grasp at first but the world ultimately needs educating. Other interests float around Buddhism and the importance of mindfulness.

Walking is my therapy.

Thank you for reading this page, which I’m sure will get updated progressively. πŸ™‚

41 comments on “About

  1. Bourbon says:

    Hey – thanks for following My blog. Look forward to following you back. You probably have already noticed that we share a lot of the same anxieties πŸ™‚ x

  2. yazrooney says:

    Hello ‘Brandon’, I’ve been around your site (your inner life) and I see how well you express yourself. You’re a very good writer. Thanks for sharing your journey. I don’t feel you are ‘ill’, but that all the anxiety are symptoms of greater things happening (I know you read my blog on The Road of the Broken Mind). Keep it up. Perhaps you might think about some creative writing too.
    Best of luck in trying to figure yourself out. Lots of love, Yaz

    • Hello Yaz and thank you for taking the time to visit and explore my site. πŸ™‚

      Thank you also for your compliments. I am very interested in creative writing and intend to keep this blog going as much as I can. I’m also looking for an evening course locally and would like to see how far I can take my writing generally – hopefully, in to a ‘career’ of some kind.

      I know enough to be able to agree with you and say that I’m not ‘ill’ as such. I feel that my anxieties stem from events earlier in my life. From reading a page on your site last night, I got the impression that you understand this and see it in yourself as well.

      Thank you again for visiting – ‘Brandon’ (almost signing myself off with my REAL name there!! :-D).

  3. The Quiet Borderline (back in hospital) says:

    Nice to meet you – I wish you well on your journey!

  4. Nikki says:

    I recently wrote a post about social anxieties. I feel your pain!

    • Thank you, Nikki. One of the greatest feelings in starting a blog and sharing in others is that I’ve realised I am far from alone in the way I feel, even though I often fear that those in the ‘real world’ may not understand. πŸ™‚

  5. Aggy says:

    I’m a terrible anonymous person, I do actually blog under my real name (because when I started my blog up, I never thought people would READ it, and it’s too late to change it haha!) I’m also stupid enough to post photos of myself and say where I’m from… fail! πŸ˜€

    I started getting into the whole blogging thing because it made me feel less alone. People in the ‘real world’ don’t always get it. Why I’m sad, or can’t leave the house or don’t eat enough. I felt a little less ‘mad!’

    I also love incubus πŸ˜€

    • Hi Aggy and thank you for stopping by. πŸ™‚

      It’s surprisingly easy to blog about things you cannot talk to real people about, isn’t it? My experiences are the same. I don’t have a family member that I can talk to about these things (they try but don’t really understand) and, the only ‘friend’ I have who does get it, well, I don’t always ‘get’ her. Sometimes she wants to know me. Other times, it feels like she doesn’t. I think I know why but, I’m afraid that by confronting her and asking about it, it would only push her to a distance from which our friendship would never return.

      It’s so private, I wouldn’t even feel comfortable sharing it here.

      Great to meet ANOTHER Incubus fan! πŸ˜€ Have you ever seen them live?

      • Aggy says:

        No sadly, I had a chance about 5 years ago but it fell through 😦

  6. Hi Brandon, I’ve nominated you for the One Lovely Blog award. You can check it out here: http://wp.me/p2DUBF-4v πŸ˜€ xx

  7. Denise Hisey says:

    Hi Brandon, well for a blog rough around the edges, it looks pretty good to me!
    I’ve found that blogging has been very connecting and healing for me. Like you mentioned, we can ‘talk’ about real things online that most aren’t willing to in the ‘real’ world. Nice to ‘meet’ you!

  8. ahmrita natural mental health says:

    Go for it Brandon!!!!!!! Thank you for dropping by on my blog πŸ™‚

  9. Wendy says:

    Hi there, good for you for being curious about yourself and exploring. Whatever it may be called, social anxiety or otherwise, I understand how you feel. I get that sometimes, more often than I care to admit. And I have a very high profile job and need to sometimes force myself to be social.

    I don’t know if you have tried or want to try meditation, but through meditation it has let me feel more in touch with myself than ever before, and it gets me closer to ‘me’, which means not feeling that I have to put on a facade for others. I really takes tremendous energy to act in a way that is not yourself. I don’t know if this describes you at all, but perhaps it’s food for thought.

    Thank you for reading my blog. There is so much to say, isn’t there!
    ~Wendy

  10. Hi, I nominated you for the One Lovely Blog Award. If you want to accept the directions are on my blog in the most recent post.

  11. i can relate, and i’m sorry you struggle too.

  12. You just have to rehearse. We all have anxieties, but there are tricks. Think of when you’ve had to give a speech or presentation. You just did it, got through it, and were relieved when it was over – something like that, right? But you can’t do that in life. So rehearse situations. Start with the likely – what if this happens? What will I say, what will I do? “A decade ago, I never thought I would be at 23 on the verge of spontaneous combustion, woe is me.”

    Conversation is puzzle pieces with no edges. But pieces fit together. So, by rehearsing, practicing, you always have a few pieces that fit into every situation. When I have given presentations, I always do two things: know what I’m talking about, and insert an inside joke at the beginning to crack myself up and help me relax. I do one more, if it comes up: commiserate with the crowd on something.

    But there are times when you don’t know much, or anything. It might seem like the best time to panic – but it’s not. It’s the easiest time. All you have to do is admit you don’t know everything, and ask questions. It’s much easier to ask questions than to talk at length yourself. And people like when they get to talk about themselves. All these things help you to relax.

    I’m not a doctor or an expert. This is just some suggestions. I have had some problems with anxiety in the past. That’s how I cope. I hope it helps.

  13. overcoming depression says:

    Yes you are right, blogging is a great way to deal with such situations and to have a better understanding of ones problems. Best wishes. Looking forward for your posts.

  14. 2ndhalfolife says:

    Thanks for following~

  15. dmauldin53 says:

    I, too, have Social Anxiety. I look forward to learning from you on your journey.

  16. Despite a relatively active life, I find fear and loneliness creep in from time to time. I think it does for just about everyone. Life is a work in progress for all of us.

  17. yasniger says:

    Thanks for showing interest in what I put out too.
    I sincerely hope you continue to find my works entertaining & pleasurable.
    Be safe.

  18. Be Well And Happy says:

    thanks for following my blog. I shall be following you back and I wish you well in your journey. I started attending MBCT classes for depression and anxiety a couple of years ago. The idea was initially to help a friend who had suffered a nervous breakdown and was very sick with anxiety, a lot of it manifested around social situations. The classes ended up being about me as well as my friend! He is better now but I learned to give him space and stop fussing around him…I. we live in a very stressful world where people are constantly throwing out judgements and opinions…most of us suffer with some form of anxiety, sometimes that just gets out of control. I’m sure people are always telling you what would be good for you but I cannot recommend mbct (mindfulness based cognitive therapy) enough. It offers great tools to dealing with potentially difficult situations. You may of course already know about it. Kind Regards

    • Hi and thank you for following me and also for your comment, earlier this evening. πŸ™‚

      I am looking to start CBT (through the NHS, would you believe) very soon and I’m aware that it’s only a ‘short term’ treatment. I hadn’t heard of MBCT before I came across your blog and it’s certainly something I could consider afterwards, if the the ‘basic’ treatment only gets me so far.

      I am also guilty of fussing too much over individuals and not giving either of us enough space. This year, that’s going to be one of my changes – in fact, it’s something I intend to write about in my very next post… Maybe I’ll even do it now. πŸ™‚

  19. Tag!!! You’re it ~ no returns!!!

  20. Moment Matters says:

    Hey,

    The free e-book “Greatest Articles | Moment Matters”, featuring your comment, is out now! You may download it in Nook, Kobo, ePUB or PDF format here.

    Cheers!

  21. Scarlet says:

    Thanks for the follow ‘Brandon’ im also not ‘Scarlet” nice to meet you πŸ™‚

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