What is Right?

I sit here, beginning to write, at a time when I should already be tucked up in bed. I’ve been wanting to share this. I’ve felt a need to take these invisible words, to set them out on a blank screen and to try and make some sense of it all. But for other commitments, I would’ve completed this a couple of hours earlier. I’m not low but I may be on the verge of falling in love.

Over the past weekend, I met someone. Our rendezvous was planned in advance; an encounter we’d been thinking of for several weeks prior. This was not borne of a dating website, although social media was involved.

I had my expectations and, to put it simply, I saw this woman as stunning in the physical form, even before we met. I assumed she’d be intelligent and, based on the manner in which we agreed to meet, it was clear that we shared at least one common love.

Over the last 2 years, I’ve been fortunate to have met several women. Some who I now consider friends; others who I’ve attained to be more. I’ve met with the social awkwardness and the comfort to be found in good company. I must admit, I had some hope for this latest greeting. Yet, in spite of all I could imagine leading up to the event; I hadn’t envisaged meeting with someone where it just felt right.

I can’t really explain it any better than that. In the past, I’ve had good feelings but I couldn’t honestly say they were mutual. I could be wrong again here. I’m not trying to say as though I’m in love with this girl. Yet, I feel as though I could so easily fall over that edge. Because I want to. I want this like I’ve never wanted anything else before.

She’s got the kind of intelligence I really value; an attribute sadly lacking from someone of whom I’ve allowed (previously) to do little more than deplete me. I’m gradually letting one kite sail away as I move on to set sail beneath skies bearing less of a storm.

At the end of it all, all she really wants is to be able to return home to a quiet life. Away from the hustle and bustle of the city. An open space with room and time to unwind. Too often, I might people who can’t live without the bright lights and ever-present noise. I feel almost as if the wind direction is changing and as though things might be about to turn in my favour… We’ve only met once but we seemed to complement each other rather well. One thing I am certain of is that we’re both keen to meet again, when it’s mutually convenient.

For the rest of the day, I carried a smile that provided previously unbeknown motivation. After arriving home, I marched soon in to a social interaction with confidence like I’d never known before… It was if a rocket was trailing from behind me! One day passes and I still hold on; I question whether my feelings are beginning to grow. By the second day and a return to my weekday ‘routine’, I’m feeling lost and very distant from the memory; my smile is now a secret. Come the next day, I just want to run in the opposite direction, in a desperate attempt to relive a moment that’s already passed.

I’m not currently in love with her and I’m filling my head with all kinds of questions and uncertainty… But I still maintain that it felt right. There’s a chance romance could one day develop. A high probability exists that we shall meet again. But I fear what will happen if I’m found out and unprepared. What if I’m wrong again?

You are the third person I’ve told; the second for whom I have shared a little more than the absolute basic details. I’d like to apologise to a friend of mine who may be reading this, as I haven’t yet told her about this… You might have an e-mail coming your way!

I’d like to end this post by sharing another Pearl Jam song. This one is by no means indicative of my mood. It’s how the music, the melody and all the chords (with a vague recollection of the lyrics) are a background tune to my regular thoughts. I admire this song, just as I can admire one woman beyond another.

Thanks and good night!

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Edge of Tomorrow

This isn’t the kind of music I would usually select to share. It’s far too ‘charty’ for my preferences and I hear almost daily on the radio at work (via stations I’m unwillingly forced to listen to by my colleagues… Yes stations as it the plural sense!).

A few weeks ago, I went to the cinema alone to watch Edge of Tomorrow. It was a late showing and, in fact, I think it was the first night of the film’s release. I really quite enjoyed the film, unsure of what to expect as I don’t tend to keep an eye out for Tom Cruise films. I’ll spare you the ending to the story but I’ll recommend you take an opportunity to see it if you like a bit of action and sci-fi ideas. It’s not going to be my ‘Film of 2014‘ but I really enjoyed it.

As the credits begin to roll, this is the song that begins to play and I was very surprised by this. I mean, I almost felt as if they’d ‘lowered’ themselves with such a selection. I’m too accustomed to hearing tunes I don’t recognise but, in taking note of the lyrics, I see how apt they are. I’ve no idea whether this song was written for the film or what but if you’re already aware of the prologue then you’ll know that Tom Cruise basically has to relive the same day over and over… A bit like Groundhog Day, but with more guns and a vertically-challenged lead character. And, with a female starring opposite him, there’s bound to be some kind of love/chemistry happening in this film at some point, right? That’s where the lyrics come in but I won’t say any more!

…Except for the fact that I’m a bit in love with Emily Blunt now!!

Seriously, where did she come from? She’s certainly not related to that male singer and I have seen her in another film with Matt Damon. She’s only a year or two older than me but, sadly, like most of Hollywood’s finest females, she’s already married. On top of that, I think she also gave birth to her first child before filming this. Ah, well. 😛

‘A Place in Time’

So, I recently bought some new CDs for the first time in many months and, with that, I purchased a couple of other items, including one DVD set that’d been on my wish list for the last few years. I guess I’d been waiting for the price to come down but I finally got my hands and the fourth and final series of The 4400.

The 4400

The 4400 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

[I promise there will be no spoilers within this post.]

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‘Sirens’ – Pearl Jam

The other week, I mentioned that I was going to share one of Pearl Jam’s latest songs off the album that’s due out in, well, perhaps a matter of days by now! That reminds me of a desire to place an order. It’s been half-a-year since I bought any new music and I always look forward to new work from this band. Anyway, this is Sirens; the second single to be released from Lightning Bolt.

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‘Release Me’

I’m wanting to write but the words aren’t quite there. I’ve never been great at pin-pointing a thought, let alone determining where it’s come from. I can’t decided whether to try and write here or whether to e-mail my friend privately, as I know she would be there. Maybe I just need some more time to think, without going over it all too much.

My intention today was to share with you a song this evening. Several hours ago, it was going to be the second single from Pearl Jam‘s forthcoming album (which I can barely stop whistling at work and replaying in my mind). Perhaps you’ll have to wait until next week for that one, if you’re not already off to YouTube.

But another Pearl Jam song popped up on my feed earlier on and that’s what I’ve decided to share. A track that has always resonated a sense of power with untamed emotion. This live recording barely disappoints.

Although, I’m open to interpretations as to what happens to Eddie Vedder right before the end! 🙂

And, the lyrics…

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‘Wind of Change’ – The Scorpions

It’s Monday evening and I feel in the mood to share a song that I’ve been holding in my mind for the past three weeks. That’s partially because, after hearing it many, many times on the radio, I’ve finally learned both its title and the name of the artist! I’ve always known the Scorpions for other tracks and a slightly heavier sound. So, even though the vocals were somewhat familiar, I didn’t realise it.

There’s no real relevance (for me) in the lyrics (which you can read below). I just like the sound of what I used to know as “The Whistling Song“… 😉

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‘Easter’ – Marillion

This is a song that I’d like to share with you today for two reasons… First, that I heard on the radio earlier during my new-found lunchtime ‘solitude’. Secondly, each and every time I’ve heard this song, it touches me. I found myself at the point of almost shedding a tear; eyes closed, as the realisation came that it was almost time to return to work.

Marillion are a band I hadn’t even heard of before I discovered Planet Rock at Christmas 2009. This is a beautiful song and I can remember how I used to believe that Phil Collins was the singer in this band… Or was that Fish?! To be honest with you; I’m still uncertain as to whether it’s Collins or Peter Gabriel providing the vocals to many Genesis songs! 😛

Lyrics below.

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