‘Make It Go Away’

I’d like to start by thanking ever one who ‘connected’ with my post on Monday (…I think it was Monday evening, anyway… I remember driving to work and wanting to stop and write it right then). To those of you who commented, liked, read and even if you just glanced over a few words… Thank you. I don’t really feel able to respond to anything (including my own words) but I have been doing better and I guess it might have helped. I’ve realised a need to be strong in the last couple of days.

Today (not long before Sunday arrives), I want to share a song with you, because I haven’t done this for a few weeks and I’m still lacking in inspiration to write. Last night, I was watching the last ever episode of Extras with my sister and this song played at least twice:

You’ve all heard it before, I’m sure. It’s a real tear-jerker for me. I didn’t know the title (which is why I’ve ‘incorrectly’ titled this post) or even that it was written and performed by Kate Bush (that seems like the kind of thing that ‘everyone’ should know…). Just the sound of her voice with those harmonies; it’s enough to wrench a few drops from my heart. Also, during the programme, there’s a moment where Ricky Gervais’ character Andy bleeds his own apologies to his friend Maggie (played by Ashley Jensen). That’s the kind of moment that sets a lump in my throat. I’m unable to take a breath as my eyes begin to swell. I don’t think I need to say any more.

I chose a version of the above song with the lyrics included in the video, just so that you could all have a read for yourselves (perhaps for the first time, like me). Whenever that song’s appeared on TV or as part of an advertisement, we only ever get a glimpse of it and a few fingers’ worth of the lyrics.

We all have moments where we just want someone to make it go away when, what really want is for someone to make it go away now… Because everything passes throughout the course of time. What goes up must come down and when you are at your lowest, there is only one other direction you can head towards from there. It’s never in doubt. It’s just a question of ‘when’.

‘Stay’ – Shakespeare’s Sister

Hello everybody!!!

I’m going to try and write a proper post for you very soon because I’m having some very good experiences with my weekly CBT group and I’m already coming up to the fourth session in our six-week course. While I haven’t been blogging here, I have been out walking, getting practical with other interests and keeping my ‘real’ blog alive (it’s a good sign).

Right now, I have a song by the Gaslight Anthem stuck in my head and I was very close to sharing that one with you right now. Instead, I’ve gone for an old ‘favourite’ that cropped up earlier in the week… It’s a song that used to terrify and frighten me as a kind, simply for the video…

If you haven’t seen it before then, I hope it doesn’t have a similar effect on you! Otherwise, Enjoy! 🙂

Read below for the lyrics (even though they have no relevance to me on this occasion).

Continue reading

‘Best of You’ – Foo Fighters

As I was heading towards Bristol last night and on towards a gig I’d been invited to earlier in the day, this song came on the radio, not long after I left home. You probably all know it. I mean, it’s been pretty well known for the last… Nine-years?! It’s another one of those songs that seems to appear at just the right time and, listening to it on this occasion, I felt there was a lot that I could relate to currently (I’m okay).

I was never a huge fan of this song and much preferred some of the other tracks from the same album (I think DOA was one). It’s interesting how songs can suddenly reach out to you like that. Reading through the lyrics this morning, I can’t decide who the song is written for or about… It seems almost like the emotions and guilt are being exchanged between two people throughout the verses. But, that could simply be my misinterpretation!

Last night, I was invited to see the Martin Harley Band at The Fleece in Bristol. My friend had a spare ticket and I was intrigued as soon as I heard that they were rock-inspired blues, or vice-versa! An excellent band. I enjoyed the night and the music, if not the experience of having to stand up all night (not like at the Grain Barge, where we’re usually in early enough to pinch a seat). Martin (the front man) is very smartly dressed compared to the others. Leading from the back, they have a proper rock and roll drummer who was entertainment to watch on his own! Their bass player was more ‘timid’ (sitting down) by comparison and they had another guitarist with them for a few songs.

There was a one-man act before them (sorry, I forget his name but he was Irish and had O’something as his surname…) and he was quite the guitar player/string picker/whatever term people use! Standing right in front of the stage didn’t bother me, even though the volume was up so loud that you could barely hear the vocals at times. There were a couple of people bouncing around us and both my friend and I received the odd elbow in the back and torso but I realised a few things last night… To enjoy live music, you don’t ‘have’ to be like those people. You don’t have to appear as though you’re having the time of your life and you certainly don’t need alcohol. I realised that you don’t need to stare at any band member in particular either. Kind of like meditation; I can keep my eyes on the stage, allow my focus to fade and then, just listen to the music more clearly.

Below, are the lyrics to Best of You by the Foo Fighters.

Continue reading

‘Starlight’ – Muse

There was a time when the prospect of owning a Muse album excited, back in the early noughties. I’ve seen distanced myself from the band with their more mainstream style. But, there’s one song that seems to play more frequently on Planet Rock than any of their others and it’s certainly one that I’ve grown an attachment to.

Matt Bellamy has a great voice and originally, a style that seemed to surprise a lot of people when the band first ’emerged’. Mostly, it’s for those lines about just wanting to hold someone in my arms.

I was supposed to see my friend again today but, she cancelled it (for personal reasons) only a couple of hours in advance. I won’t bother to try and deny or even question my disappointment. I know our time and that opportunity will come again. In the mean time, I have another friend’s birthday celebration to attend this evening and I must get myself out to do a group walk on Sunday, as there’s one that starts only a few miles from home.

Speaking of which, I’ve been out to view potential place to rent this afternoon! I like it and the meeting with the agent went well. It’s the only available place that I can realistically afford right now (on a monthly basis) but I really need to sit down and look at how feasible that first month would be, with all the relevant fees, a deposit and the advanced payment of rent that would be required… I had a good feeling that it would be a space for me to ‘create’; certainly with my writing and perhaps also with music some day.

Today’s song (its title) also reminds me of internet dating in general, as there was one girl (guess her username!) who I felt was a near-‘perfect’ match for me, based on the shy natured outlined in her profile… She never responded to my message, which I think tells you something about the world of online dating… Perhaps that in spite of appearances and first impressions, it’s no more transparent than finding someone away from the computer screen.

Please read below to find the lyrics for this song.

Continue reading

‘Epiphany’ – Staind

Although I still have a level of admiration towards this band, each time I see the name ‘Staind‘, my head begins to drop even before I’ve heard that first chord of any of their songs. They’re a band almost synonymous with depression at times. That’s how I’ve always remembered them.

I mentioned last time, with my previous video share, that there was one Staind song on the Break the Cycle album that I was afraid to listen to 12 years ago… Well, this is it!

To fully appreciate the contrast of this song against the rest of their CD, I think you’d have to listen to the studio recordings, where I’ve chosen to share a live acoustic set version with you today (as I also did with It’s Been Awhile). It’s not as ‘hard’ as many of the others.

Listening to this song again didn’t feel painful at all. In my teens, I would instantly draw up an image of a barren landscape beneath grey clouds and filled with mist. Quite like I imagine the lower points of the Grand Canyon to be, but with green rocks. It was lonely and I can still see that image in my mind today.

If you’d like to read through the lyrics for yourself, please find them below. Just so you know though; neither this song or any lyrics bear any relevance to my current state of mind. I appreciate that I’m being very quiet at the moment but I ask you to trust that I’m okay. 🙂

Continue reading

‘Love Will Find a Way’ – Yes

Here’s a song for you this week; one perhaps a little softer and less-depressing than my usual offerings. I hope no-one confuses this with any similarly-titled recording from a female artist…

That one line, ‘Here is my heart‘ is one that regularly echoes inside my skull. The rest of this song is obsolete and very hard to remember. It’s been playing on loop in my head for the past 24 hours and, gradually, the title line (‘Love will find a way‘) has made its way in to my playlist.

Driving to work this morning, this song appeared on the radio, not long before I arrived at my dreaded destination. I love it when coincidences like that happen! I begin to believe that there is some ‘unfathomable force‘ watching over us, guiding our way… There’s only one other Yes song I can ever think of and that has the kind of title that I’m sure many of us can relate to (‘Owner of a Lonely Heart‘). Hearing the band reminded me of how much I used to enjoy listening to Rick Wakeman‘s Saturday morning show on Planet Rock… Before I started working shifts and consequently missed the final ten-weeks’ worth of broadcasting and entertainment. Rick was the keyboard player in Yes at some point. Ironically, I’m not sure whether he was present during the original recording of this song.

Just reading through the lyrics (continue reading below), it seems like a song full of optimism and near-silent hope. It’s the kind of message that people are often telling me to believe in. Fate and all of that. Don’t try to force things; if it’s meant to be, it will be.

Continue reading

‘Darkness’ – Disturbed

There’s a song that came to my mind about a week ago and I’ve been eager to share it with you ever since. Actually, this one creeps back in to my mind on a frequent basis. I’d be surprised if it hasn’t grazed my conscious mind at least once each week for the past eleven years!

It’s one that I’m almost ‘afraid’ to share. I first heard this song when I bought the band’s album, at the age of 17. I was heading towards a low patch of my own during my A-Levels and I used to worry that this song would make me feel worse; as if I shouldn’t ever allow myself to listen to it. In fact, there’s a song on Staind‘s ‘Break the Cycle‘ album that I would always skip… I’ll share that one on another day.

But, ‘Darkness’ was soothing. I found comfort in David voice, the piano keys that didn’t belong on this album and ‘those three words‘ that I could relate to; over and over again.

I’ve grown away from this band (and a lot of metal, in general) in the years since but, if I was to choose just one track of theirs from the two albums I own, to sit inside a playlist on my iPod… There is no question.

I don’t wish for people to read anything in to the timing of this as I am okay. In fact, I’m planning to write a positive post of gratitude tomorrow evening, in preparation for my CBT assessment on Thursday. 😉 If anything is wrong at this moment, it’s that I can’t seem to stop listening to Lana Del Ray’s album at the minute! I’m also in a bit of a Chili Peppers phase at the minute too (everything pre-2006). 😎

Continue reading