It’s been another long time since my previous post and I’d like to begin by wishing a warm and Merry Christmas to everyone who happens upon this post! 🙂 Oh, and I also wish you the very best of success for 2015!
A friend of mine often writes about inner critics (of course, she’s not the only one) and I’m no stranger to effects of self-destruction and low-lying self-esteem.
For while now [to put that in to perspective – I think I first entertained this thought sometime before my last post!], I’ve had it in mind to re-assume writing down my thoughts and until very recently, I’ve been brilliant at creating every excuse not to do this… Then, last week, I finally bought myself a notebook and over the weekend, I grabbed a spare pen to place ink on the first page!
Last week, I decided to skip on an update with my CBT course. There’s no great reason for that; I simply felt as though that session was a bit ‘meh’, in the sense that I didn’t feel like I’d learned or come away with much at the end of it. That remains the only time on this course but I’m not trying to knock it because I’m sure some others would’ve benefited.
In short, I didn’t feel as though I had anything within me to report! 🙂
Now, having just completed week seven… There’s only one more week to go!! :-O
Is this really week FIVE already?! It’s going by so fast that I appear to have lost all creative originality, when it comes to titling these posts! 😉 I’m now beyond the halfway point, despite missing the session last week. All I can say to summarise is that it is help. It is making a difference and that it is giving me lots to think about and consider. After that synopsis, I trust some of you will still continue to read on… 🙂
I’m sat here now, having been wanting to write this post all week and yet, I feel as though it’s already been done… That’s partly because it’s been on my mind a lot (feeling a sense of ‘urgency’ and necessity, in spite of a lack of time); but also, there’s a recurrent photo theme that continues on from last week’s belated update.
Had I not just checked my home page before writing this, I would be about to tell you about how I visited Weston-super-Mare after the course on Monday night… Instead, I’m going to tell you the truth from Monday 29th July. I’ll let you know where I did go… But instead of my CBT course!
It’s been five-days since my third week in the Self Esteem course and I apologise for the gaping delay in writing this post. For the past week, I’ve been unable to log-in for more than a few minutes… That’s been the highlight of my efforts! For the rest of the time, I’ve been unable to load a single WordPress-hosted site; whether that’s one of my own or somebody else’s. Doing a bit of search engine research this evening, I’ve discovered that it seems to be an issue with TalkTalk (perhaps also concerning customers of other UK-basedISPs). All other sites appear to be functioning fine but I’ve not been able to get on here until this evening… When I suddenly remembered that I still have a mobile broadband with 3 Mobile! 😎
Weston-super-Mud, last Monday evening.
…I just have to be careful not to download too much stuff before the end of the month. My main reason for switching back to wi-fi last week was because I received a warning text to say that I am close to my monthly 5Gb limit (so many wasted hours on YouTube…). I often wonder why I still have this thing, as it’s costing me more than £15 a month but hey, I am grateful on this one occasion! 🙂
After my second week on the Self-Esteem CBT course, I’m again feeling slightly elated and rather content this evening! Then again, it’s been a while since I’ve felt any crushing lows now and that should be evident within my weekly test scores on the questionnaires we’re given.
I saw down, wanting to start writing this a little earlier and so, some of my thoughts have slipped to the back of my mind… But, I did make some notes on the back of my handout (in fact, I recommend) and so, by referring to them, I’m hoping that I can share everything I intended in the room. 😉
Tonight, I’d like to write to you about my experience of the previous evening, when I finally began the NHS-funded Self-Esteem course that I signed up for following the end of the CBT-based lessons in Anxiety Management. This time, they’ve extended the course duration from 6 to a total of 8 weeks, which should allow people to get more form their chosen course (apparently, it’s a common ‘complaint’ amongst past attendees).
As I mentioned briefly in my previous post; I’m doing okay for the moment and I see my ‘withdrawal’ from this site as a positive thing (not having too many new negativethoughts to contemplate and generally coping with day-to-day life). Whether or not that’s solely down to the CBT work I’m doing with Positive Step; I don’t know. I’m sure there’s some personal benefit coming from this course and that’s what I’d like to start by writing about this evening.
Before I disappear to clean up and get ready to head our later for a gig I’ve been invited to this evening, I’d like to sit here and attempt to collect my thoughts on my experience during week one of the Anxiety Management course; funded by the NHS and available locally through Positive Step.
This evening, I just want to write a bit about my experience with the assessment I had this morning, in preparation for a potential course of CBT, funded by the NHS. All I’ll say to summarise is that it was a POSITIVE experience and I’m left feeling that way about the future and my options after this thirty-minute appointment. I haven’t planned the rest of the post from here, which is unusual for me (I usually do this mentally throughout the course of a day) so, here I go, hoping not to miss too much out.