Today, I’m writing to explore my need to be loved.
As the weekends arrive with the passing of each working week, I’m finding it increasingly more difficult to remove myself from under the duvet.
Getting up in the morning is proving to be hard. Now, I could blame many aspects for this, including the time of year – but the weather, for one, is quite mild considering we’re almost halfway in to December. More importantly; I’m working to remind myself to be emotionally responsible and intelligent, with regards to my feelings.
It is not because of anything or anyone external that I am struggling to get out of bed. It is me.
Instead of dwelling on that, I’m going to try and write about how to I look for ways to get me going each Saturday and Sunday.
This post is the release of words I’m holding on to. A truth I feel a need to be shared. A good friend recently encouraged me to question the necessity of sharing these secrets with one individual but as each days go on, I feel that urge, burning on the back of my neck. It feels as if the right time is approaching. I see it as an means of drawing a conclusion to what is an ever-complex situation I find myself in.
For now, I write here, anonymously, in the hope of achieving containment.
What does it mean to be responsible for your own emotions?
Today I’d like to write about a subject that may be viewed as highly controversial. Maybe I’ve covered it on this blog before – I know I’ve certainly touched on my own opinions in distant posts that have receded far in to the past. This is a ‘topic’ that isn’t to be taken lightly and yet, it’s something I’ve never felt comfortable talking about with counsellors or even a close friend, for fear of judgement, a lack of understanding and, well, there’s always the fear that I would ‘convince’ someone it’s the right thing to do…
Let’s talk about SUICIDE.
In spite of recent questions and fears for my own state of person, I managed to remind myself last night (with the added reassurance of a friend’s words) that I am still alive and un-zombie-like.
If you haven’t seen the film Interstellar then I implore you to watch it.
Don’t go off watching trailers or Googling for any informations at all (unless you’re shopping)… You really do not want to risk spoiling an ounce of the experience.
Because that’s what this production is. This film is far removed from your generic ‘space adventure movie’… There are no aliens, I didn’t see any guns and, most importantly, I cannot think of any other film (including Marley and Me, here) that has made me cry and feel so much all throughout.
I know I am alive today because this music raises every hair on my body each time I listen to it. It’s now been a year since I experienced Interstellar in the cinema and I regularly relive these emotions thanks to the DVD.
By all means, listen to the music and see how you feel. But also watch the film. Embrace it, welcome it. Don’t research it. I’m sure that 99.9% of you will not regret it, if you haven’t already done so. 🙂
It’s also regarded as one of the most scientifically-accurate space films, for those of you who like your science. If you don’t feel like crying even once though, it possibly means you’re more of a man than I am… Or not? 😉
Thanks for reading.
I return to this space for the second time in less than a week to ask myself the question: