Abuse Without Excuse

This post comes as a response to recent events within the life of a close friend of mine. I haven’t known her that long but, from the initial online conversations, I felt as though something was ‘off’ with her relationship and that appears to match the criteria for Emotional Abuse. Six months later, I learned on one frightful night that the abuse was also physical. Yet, through fear and insecurity (I presume), she was back under his fist less than 48 hours after finding the strength to escape.

On Friday night, I received a message out of the blue, where she admitted that she was in an abusive relationship and asked for my help. She didn’t say whether anything had happened that night and there were long delays between other replies. I naturally offered to help, I told her I wasn’t far away and, although she suggested that she ‘might’ need an escape, well, she stayed there for the night and I’ve barely heard from her since.

Refuge – UK charity for women and children who are victims of domestic violence and abuse.

That’s a brief synopsis of the situation I’m witnessing. In this post, I’d like to share some of my thoughts and concerns over helping a friend through and out of such a situation.

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Poem: ‘All In Vain’

‘All In Vain’

A shining sun
With skies so blue
A winter’s day
To share, with you

Our time apart
So many weeks
To see your smile
And raise your cheeks

We made a plan
It all went so well
Those photos you took
They’d surely sell

Home time arrived
Why always so fast?
That warm, flowing feeling
I want it to last

Again, I feel I’m second best
As if my work is for the the rest
A man you love, he’s in control
An evil bastard with no soul

I am afraid of what I know
For the love I may never show
Tears fall, my head sinks and then
Fears I’ll never see you again

Push too far and
I will break
I’m here to save you
For goodness’ sake!