Until Tomorrow

I had intended to join in with a group activity event today. It’s something I do quite regularly and I still owe many thanks to ‘B’ (if ever she reads this) for suggesting the idea AND finding the information five years ago.

I could be off now, trying to do something on my own… Instead, I’ve chosen to sit here and write. Partly so that I can hide away from the world but also, in an attempt to save myself from too much inner suffering and slaughter.

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Blagdon Lake

It’s taken me a while to get around to sharing these photos with you, as this walk actually took place last Thursday afternoon, when I had a few hours to spare with the day off work, following my late-morning appointment with Positive Step.

Blagdon Lake in Somerset

My ankle had been hurting for around two weeks up until and including this day. In fact, it’s been giving more grief still throughout this week. I was unsure about doing a walk but then, I decided it was too cold to stay indoors without putting the heating on and not warm enough to get involved with another hobby so, I ventured out for one of the shorter walks from the book titled 8 Wild Walks Across the Mendip Hills.

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‘Alone’ – Heart

Another day and a second song for you this week. This one also aired on Radio 2 yesterday but, I was reluctant to ‘spoil’ you all by posting twice in one day…

If I did that then, what reason would you have to be reading this right now?! 😉

So, I’ve now heard this song twice on Radio 2 in the last few months, that I can remember. I hear it more frequently on Planet Rock but, we do not have a DAB radio at work (nor, the intention to change the fecking FM station, or so it seems).

I guess I like my ballads, as much as I am an avid rocker. I always thought that Pat Benatar was the vocalist on this song and within the band but, Wikipedia has taught me otherwise (she also has a great voice).

What else can I say, except that I pay close attention to this song for the warbling cry right after the two-minute mark. It gives me goosebumps, every time. 🙂

I forgot to include the lyrics with the previous song and I’ll amend that shortly. For the lyrics to this song, you’ll have to read on below.

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HNY

I can’t bring myself to say those three words at the moment so, I’m afraid you’ll have accept the acronym that at the head of this post, this evening (or, whatever time it is, where you are). If I say it, I won’t feel as though I mean it. That’s in no way a disrespect to anyone who may or may not be reading this; it’s simply my current state of mind.

All I have to keep me going until midnight.

All I have to keep me going until midnight.

I was tempted to title this ‘Happy? Not Yet‘ as I find myself ending yet another year on my own.

Those three items in the photo above are all I have to keep me going and I don’t even drink red wine!! If the contents of that bottle disappears tonight, it’ll be for the second time this year. I dislike alcohol but, I don’t know; when I feel this way and there’s an unopened Christmas gift lying around and no-one to share it with (I asked before; no-one likes red wine), I feel an urge to drink it.

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A Short Story

This post is inspired not only by today’s significant cause (World Suicide Prevention Day) but also, buy a recent post from The Depressed Moose. Using a photo I took recently at the Blaise Castle Estate in Bristol (England), I’ve decided to write a short story, as an example of the kind of creativity we are all capable of showing, even in times of darkness and with thoughts of suffering.

I can’t promise that this will or not strongly address any of the issues surrounding depression and suicidal thoughts but, here I go…

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