I’m really struggling at the moment. My mood hasn’t been this low for a while. Hope is fading and I’m beginning to contemplate terrible things that I have always anticipated happening later in life. I’ve booked a counselling session for next week so, I’m going to try and get back in to that and see if I can find anything inside to talk about and hopefully make a start on this CBT.
In an effort to distract myself tonight though, I would like to show you my fridge!
Inside my fridge!
In fact, talking about ‘food’ and eating generally is something I’ve been wanting to do for a while. I’m less of a spontaneous writer (and person), you see. Everything has to be planned, to some extent. Timing has to be right and all the parts and pieces of the puzzle need to arrive perfectly at the correct time.
Flicking through the pages, there’s another piece of my ‘short-writing’ that I’d like to share with you right now. The afternoon is passing quickly and my thoughts are already turning to waking up at 6am (usually sooner), ready for another depressing day at work, starting at 7am. I hate the day-job I have now, about as much as I’ve hated every other; each one for different reasons.
What I hate most of all though, is that I don’t ever seem to do anything on a weekend. I went out to see family yesterday afternoon but, I’ve spent most of today lying in bed, listening to music. I could blame the rain but, it’s not really the weather’s fault. I’m like this every Sunday; living the same old routine, without actually ‘living’, or so it feels.
Life should be about balance, I believe – and, that is something I do not have right now.