I’d like to write this post in the hope that I can express how this situation with my friend doesn’t always bring me crashing down in to a state of self-pity with depressive thoughts. To start off, I’m going to share this image with you. It may look startling at first glance but, I’d like you to read on for a better understanding and explanation.
Last night, I went to bed feeling good. I was so positive in my mind, that I even restarted my nightly meditation to combat anxiety. This morning, I felt optimistic about going to work, on an otherwise dark, damp morning. All was going well until lunchtime, when I decided to send ‘someone’ a text to see if they would like to meet up later…
***TRIGGER WARNING ***
***THIS POST DISCUSSES SUICIDAL THOUGHTS WITH MENTION OF SELF-HARM***
One more for today and perhaps the last one for a little while, as my little book of secrets is beginning to look thin on filled pages. There’s a lot of work-in-progress and I still have a lot to work through in my mind so, with the encouragement I’ve already received, I’m hopeful that I can continue these writings/poems/whatever-they-are in good time.
This one was written approximately one week after the last, when May and I first met in person. Despite several attempts at messaging her, our communication had gone silent and I was confused, to say the least. I now have a greater understanding of why this has happened and, why it stills continues infrequently now. At the time though, I had some thoughts that I needed to write down.