Poem: ‘Four Months’

‘Four Months’

Sixteen weeks and too many days
Since I last saw you

In my mind, your face is unclear
In my heart, I feel that you’re near
Hearing your voice, I hold so dear
I wait, I’m still here

Time has passed
We can’t go back
One-third on
Two more to go

You’re moving on
But all alone
This man of yours
He bears no throne

I worry
I fear
My tears
All for you

A day will come
It’s not too late
Let’s hope it’s soon
I’ll always wait

For you.

(It’s four-months to the day since I last saw her.)

 

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Voice Inside My Bed

I’d like to write this post in the hope that I can express how this situation with my friend doesn’t always bring me crashing down in to a state of self-pity with depressive thoughts. To start off, I’m going to share this image with you. It may look startling at first glance but, I’d like you to read on for a better understanding and explanation.

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All is Forgotten

Last night, I went to bed feeling good. I was so positive in my mind, that I even restarted my nightly meditation to combat anxiety. This morning, I felt optimistic about going to work, on an otherwise dark, damp morning. All was going well until lunchtime, when I decided to send ‘someone’ a text to see if they would like to meet up later…

***TRIGGER WARNING ***

***THIS POST DISCUSSES SUICIDAL THOUGHTS WITH MENTION OF SELF-HARM***

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Poem: ‘Message Not Received?’

One more for today and perhaps the last one for a little while, as my little book of secrets is beginning to look thin on filled pages. There’s a lot of work-in-progress and I still have a lot to work through in my mind so, with the encouragement I’ve already received, I’m hopeful that I can continue these writings/poems/whatever-they-are in good time.

This one was written approximately one week after the last, when May and I first met in person. Despite several attempts at messaging her, our communication had gone silent and I was confused, to say the least. I now have a greater understanding of why this has happened and, why it stills continues infrequently now. At the time though, I had some thoughts that I needed to write down.

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