Up High but Down Low

I want to try and keep this one going as a positive post because I’ve done well to drag myself out of bed, out of the house and out in to the fresh air of the Somerset countryside. Ever since I finished work yesterday lunchtime though, my mood has been on a steady decline. I spent the afternoon sleeping on top of my bed; I couldn’t even be bothered to walk the dog. My evening was no more pro-active and I was struggling to get going today. Even when I left the house, I wasn’t really in the mood and this usually changes once I’m out and about…

Maybe I’m finally getting bored of my own company? I have thoughts of not having to return to work until Thursday but still, I know I’m going to spend this time on my own. Maybe it was the setting?

Whatever the cause, I’m feeling low today and, not for the first time since I’ve been in counselling, I’m finding myself unable to crawl down and ‘hide away’ in my secret, safe space. It’s surrounded by nature; buried beneath a layer of leaves and grass. Inside, it is dark but, the walls are warm and earthly. Now, it’s as if someone’s concreted over and filled it in. I cannot break through, I cannot get in. I’m left stand out in the cold, exposed, feeling the way that I do right now.

Anyway, let’s have a look at where I went today…

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Poem: ‘Amazing Blaise’

‘Amazing Blaise’

It had been so long
Eighteen-years and counting
But the journey to reach you
Felt like climbing a mountain

I was afraid.
So long, I had waited
But, setting off from the car park
My breath was already baited!

It seemed unfamiliar, until the museum
Inside, it all came back to me
The history, paintings, Mr.Hughes and the caning!
One look outside, the estate was waiting!

I found my own trail and began to explore
My camera was ready and I kept finding more!

But the castle was hidden, along with both caves
I used my own compass but, wasn’t sure of the way

Then, when I found you, my dream was achieved
That sense of achievement and all I’d believed

Now, I set off with new sites to explore
But, at Blaise Castle, there will always be MORE!

One day, I’ll return, just to see you inside
I hope to bring with me a friend and our pride