Having just logged in to my account for the first time this week, I’ve received a notification to say that my blog is now officially one-year old! It’s a twelve month period that’s gone by pretty fast, even during the recent times where I haven’t been here regularly enough to write.
My blog is one-year old this month!
It’s true that I haven’t had an awful lot to write about or, where I have wanted to write spontaneously, I haven’t been able to sit down here and do that. Perhaps I should finally invest in a small notebook to at least keep the thoughts on record? We take a week off from the CBT course this week because of the Bank Holiday (I hope you’ve all had a good one) with the final session to come next Monday. In order to put something new on these pages, I am going to write this evening, about a situation that has signified some of the positive change within me.
Last week, I decided to skip on an update with my CBT course. There’s no great reason for that; I simply felt as though that session was a bit ‘meh’, in the sense that I didn’t feel like I’d learned or come away with much at the end of it. That remains the only time on this course but I’m not trying to knock it because I’m sure some others would’ve benefited.
In short, I didn’t feel as though I had anything within me to report! 🙂
Now, having just completed week seven… There’s only one more week to go!! :-O
I’m sat here now, having been wanting to write this post all week and yet, I feel as though it’s already been done… That’s partly because it’s been on my mind a lot (feeling a sense of ‘urgency’ and necessity, in spite of a lack of time); but also, there’s a recurrent photo theme that continues on from last week’s belated update.
Had I not just checked my home page before writing this, I would be about to tell you about how I visited Weston-super-Mare after the course on Monday night… Instead, I’m going to tell you the truth from Monday 29th July. I’ll let you know where I did go… But instead of my CBT course!
Referring back to the experience of my first session in learning about Self-Esteem issues; I’m going to go on as I intended by writing about the five qualities I would look for in another person. That’s not to imply that I’m looking to amend or consider my current assessment (although, this may also help me with that). It’s mainly so that I can do as we were told in the class; to consider where I would position myself on each line and also, in relation to that “perfect” person.
Tonight, I’d like to write to you about my experience of the previous evening, when I finally began the NHS-funded Self-Esteem course that I signed up for following the end of the CBT-based lessons in Anxiety Management. This time, they’ve extended the course duration from 6 to a total of 8 weeks, which should allow people to get more form their chosen course (apparently, it’s a common ‘complaint’ amongst past attendees).
As I mentioned briefly in my previous post; I’m doing okay for the moment and I see my ‘withdrawal’ from this site as a positive thing (not having too many new negativethoughts to contemplate and generally coping with day-to-day life). Whether or not that’s solely down to the CBT work I’m doing with Positive Step; I don’t know. I’m sure there’s some personal benefit coming from this course and that’s what I’d like to start by writing about this evening.
Before I disappear to clean up and get ready to head our later for a gig I’ve been invited to this evening, I’d like to sit here and attempt to collect my thoughts on my experience during week one of the Anxiety Management course; funded by the NHS and available locally through Positive Step.
This evening, I just want to write a bit about my experience with the assessment I had this morning, in preparation for a potential course of CBT, funded by the NHS. All I’ll say to summarise is that it was a POSITIVE experience and I’m left feeling that way about the future and my options after this thirty-minute appointment. I haven’t planned the rest of the post from here, which is unusual for me (I usually do this mentally throughout the course of a day) so, here I go, hoping not to miss too much out.
I feel I could or should be sat here now, thinking and coming up with a list of resolutions for the impending new year. Already, I’ve decided that there is one change I am going to try and enforce, day by day and that is to be completely honest with people.
I’ve always considered myself to be an honest person but, as I’m sure many of you will understand; certain situations arrive where it seems easier to lie about your thoughts and feelings. To ‘go with the flow’ for an easier ride.
If I don’t like something, I’m not going to pretend that I’m interested. If I disagree with a statement or procedure at work, I’m going to make my voice heard. This isn’t going to be easy and, if I look at the full picture, it’s going to distort be come an overwhelming blur. That’s why I’m aiming to take it one day at a time. As each day comes. Instead of looking for things, I’ll allow them to happen.
Earlier this week, I had my first counselling session session for a few weeks. Reflecting now, as I have been ever since, I feel confused about what was discussed in that session. A lot was said and I’ve asked for a list to jog my memory as I feel like I’ve already forgotten some of the important issues that came up.