What is ‘Genuine’?

I’m weak… I said I was going to resist contacting her for now but, I gave in, only to let her know how my day went and to assume that she was doing quite well. She replied to say quite the opposite. She was glad to hear from me and, of my day but, it’s clear that there’s something very, very wrong in their relationship. She is desperately unhappy. I felt like she was trying to reach out to me so, I offered a hand. In fact, I did a bit more than that by asking her if she’d like to talk about it (even after she said she hates talking about personal stuff and regrets making things public on social networking sites)… She told me to leave her alone. I won’t quote it properly because it was all written in upper-case with lots of exclamation marks behind. I am surprise she didn’t unfriend me on the spot but then, I have left her alone and it’s clear that she’s in a very dark and lonely place.

I worry about her but, once again, I’ve realised that I cannot help someone who is not prepared (or afraid) to help themselves.

A little while after that and, still online, I received a message from someone on a dodgy dating site (POF). She said I seemed genuine but, having spoken to her for a couple of hours, I’m beginning to feel that the word (genuine) is only true in the eye of the beholder (like beauty and perfection). At first, she seemed very ‘genuine’, sharing my interest in walking and we had more in common. I asked about her writing and she offered to show me some of her work…

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Being Friends

This follows on from my First Date post.

I awoke the next morning to find a text message from Jan, simply asking whether I’d made it home safely. I guess she was waiting and hoping to hear from me first and, I would’ve texted her sooner, if only I hadn’t felt so flat that morning. From the minute I walked in the door late on Saturday night, I knew I was missing her company. I was all alone again. Anyway, I told her how nice it was to meet her, how I’d look forward to seeing her again and she replied to say that I should’ve just said “I think you’re fat and ugly“, exclaiming that she wanted her books back! She wasn’t the only feeling low and, later that day, at my mum’s house, I burst in to tears when she asked me about how the day had gone.

After a few days, I spoke to her on the phone and she seemed to have calmed down considerably. She was deeply apologetic; stating that she gets like that sometimes because of her condition and that she never meant to react in such a way. We agreed that I would see her again in two-weeks’ time, while we both kept looking for other matches on the dating website. I would’ve gone up to see her sooner but, she has her daughter with her every other weekend.

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