‘Love Will Find a Way’ – Yes

Here’s a song for you this week; one perhaps a little softer and less-depressing than my usual offerings. I hope no-one confuses this with any similarly-titled recording from a female artist…

That one line, ‘Here is my heart‘ is one that regularly echoes inside my skull. The rest of this song is obsolete and very hard to remember. It’s been playing on loop in my head for the past 24 hours and, gradually, the title line (‘Love will find a way‘) has made its way in to my playlist.

Driving to work this morning, this song appeared on the radio, not long before I arrived at my dreaded destination. I love it when coincidences like that happen! I begin to believe that there is some ‘unfathomable force‘ watching over us, guiding our way… There’s only one other Yes song I can ever think of and that has the kind of title that I’m sure many of us can relate to (‘Owner of a Lonely Heart‘). Hearing the band reminded me of how much I used to enjoy listening to Rick Wakeman‘s Saturday morning show on Planet Rock… Before I started working shifts and consequently missed the final ten-weeks’ worth of broadcasting and entertainment. Rick was the keyboard player in Yes at some point. Ironically, I’m not sure whether he was present during the original recording of this song.

Just reading through the lyrics (continue reading below), it seems like a song full of optimism and near-silent hope. It’s the kind of message that people are often telling me to believe in. Fate and all of that. Don’t try to force things; if it’s meant to be, it will be.

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Anxious Thought of the Day

Here’s my anxious thought for the day…

When a very close friend tells you that you’re a ‘wonderful person‘ and also, a ‘great friend‘, why is my next reaction (after feeling positively emotional) to focus and dwell on the ‘friend‘ aspect?

She is the first person I’ve known in the real world to have ever said something so kind and beautiful to me. My counsellor used to try and praise me but then, it’s kind of her job… It actually means something (and a lot more) when it comes from a person you mutually care about.

I am so grateful for her words and I hope she knows that I will always be there to support her.

As much as I’ve begun this year striving to focus on the friends-side of our relationship (as only friends), I guess I’m always going to be secretly hoping for more, with the feelings I do have.

Another friend was talking to me recently about her own situation and I kind of came to a realisation that we cannot ‘control’ our emotions and feelings, just as we cannot dictate those of other people; as much as we may feel as though we want to. Feelings of love and compassion never truly fade away or burn out, in my opinion. So, is then about acceptance and focusing on other areas?

Poem: ‘Nothing Left’

‘Nothing Left’

I love you so much

It begins to hurt

My heart, restrained

Feelings still inert

I wish you could hear

Words I’m wanting to say

But how do I know

Would they scare you away?

Without you, I’m empty

I wish you were there

You had your own reasons

For which, you won’t share

More than half a year

You’re drifting away

I don’t like to say it

But soon, will come that day

I find my arms weakening

My face is a mess

If you could see my view

You wouldn’t settle for less

I’m back now, with nothing

These days never end

Has fate turned against us?

Does your heart pretend?

Bruce Springsteen – ‘Tunnel of Love’

As I haven’t written anything on these blog for a few days and I’m feeling better than I was for the initial days, I thought I’d share one of my favourite Bruce Springsteen song with you:

Whatever some people may think of ‘The Boss’, this one is much better than the Christmas song they keep playing on Radio 2!

I don’t think I really need to say why I like this one in particular. 🙂

For the lyrics, you’ll have to read on, below.

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Poem: ‘My Yearning’

‘My Yearning’

Your head
Resting against mine
On our shoulders
We hold each other

Four arms
Wrapping us together
You rub my back
As I hold you closer

Concealing the warmth
Shelter from the cold
Sharing the love
As each day grows old

When words do not matter
No sound can disrupt
Time passes by
Just the two of us

Hair, entwined
A rainbow of colour
Our eyes do not meet
Until the moment’s just right

That feeling
I yearn for
Your memory
Cushioned within my heart

 

May-Day

Wow, I’ve had a difficult few hours with regards to my emotions and feelings towards ‘May’ but, it looks as though there may now be a resolution to the whole thing.

It all started when I got home from work. While checking my e-mails, I logged in to Facebook for a look around (as is part of my usual routine) and instantly noticed that her name had vanished from the chat menu on the right hand side. I did a search for her but came up with nothing. Typing in a name of one of her friends told me that we still had ‘1 Mutual Friend‘ but, trying to access her (photo-less) profile through one of her previous messages resulted in a ‘profile not found’ message appearing on the screen.

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Heartache

After my actions last night, I fear that I may be about to lose the friendship of someone I dearly care about. Once again, I’m referring to ‘May’, who I’ve known for all of three-months (actually, it’s very close to four, now). Because of her deep depression (bipolar disorder), she often goes in to states where she shuts herself off from the world (including most of her friends). This is probably something that many of use can relate to; I’m just not use to seeing it in a person for such a prolonged period. It can be days or even weeks before I hear from her. Usually, I have to almost ‘provoke’ her (in a complementary way) just to get something.

Last night, I told her how much I missed talking to her, how I always accept her for who she is and that I had exciting things happening (writing, blogging and poetry) that I wanted to share with her. I received a response with some expression of interest and, after a few messages, I she accepted my invitation to see one of my poems…

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