Changing Story

What must it take for a victim to turn around, after many months of yearning for your trust and support, to claim that they fabricated the concept that they were being frequently abused by their partner?

Furthermore, why do I continually allow this situation to return to a place within my own life. What am I lacking inside?

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Open Door

Even when I close the door, I never turn the key.

Should I hear a ring or knock, I will always answer. Eventually.

It’s a sound I can’t ignore.

A presence I’m half expecting.

Always waiting for.

Knowing that one day, she will always return.

My mind remains hushed while the body rattles.

I still expect the same end result.

I do this out of kindness.

I do not expect change.

It’s a test of resolve. A chance for redemption.

She has to make an effort. This year will soon draw to a close.

A divide exists. His eyes burn with nicotine in demand.

Those fists, I can’t restrain. But my door is always open.

I won’t lie. I can’t hide. Too many times, I’ve tried.

No Friend of Mine

I feel a bit of a rant coming on this afternoon… When something or someone irritates me, this is my way of choosing to deal with that emotion. I stop and assess where some might make a spontaneous decision. I choose to write here instead of biting back at any other person.

No sooner had I written once previously about saying ‘goodbye’ to someone and how I finally felt like I was moving on from that… This same person surprisingly emerged days later and on Facebook of all places!

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Disbanded

I was doing okay when I wrote that last post but, at the same time, something dark was creeping over my mind. I’d had a great weekend; leaving me with little to look forward to in the now-passing week, besides work in a job that makes me feel all kinds of negative things. I realised through CBT (another good week) that I am generally very critical of myself in anxious situation (self-esteem issues?).

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My list of questions for whichever helpline is able to answer their phone first.

All week, I’ve been irritable. Starting each work day with fire in my arms; coming home to a state of anything but calmness. People constantly irritate me. I cannot tolerate the monotony of the radio or this job any longer. My pace slows to a crawl as the Eart begins to rotate at half-speed. Throughout all of this, there’s one constant thought or situation that is always at the head of the queue…

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Abuse Without Excuse

This post comes as a response to recent events within the life of a close friend of mine. I haven’t known her that long but, from the initial online conversations, I felt as though something was ‘off’ with her relationship and that appears to match the criteria for Emotional Abuse. Six months later, I learned on one frightful night that the abuse was also physical. Yet, through fear and insecurity (I presume), she was back under his fist less than 48 hours after finding the strength to escape.

On Friday night, I received a message out of the blue, where she admitted that she was in an abusive relationship and asked for my help. She didn’t say whether anything had happened that night and there were long delays between other replies. I naturally offered to help, I told her I wasn’t far away and, although she suggested that she ‘might’ need an escape, well, she stayed there for the night and I’ve barely heard from her since.

Refuge – UK charity for women and children who are victims of domestic violence and abuse.

That’s a brief synopsis of the situation I’m witnessing. In this post, I’d like to share some of my thoughts and concerns over helping a friend through and out of such a situation.

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