‘Alone’ – Heart

Another day and a second song for you this week. This one also aired on Radio 2 yesterday but, I was reluctant to ‘spoil’ you all by posting twice in one day…

If I did that then, what reason would you have to be reading this right now?! 😉

So, I’ve now heard this song twice on Radio 2 in the last few months, that I can remember. I hear it more frequently on Planet Rock but, we do not have a DAB radio at work (nor, the intention to change the fecking FM station, or so it seems).

I guess I like my ballads, as much as I am an avid rocker. I always thought that Pat Benatar was the vocalist on this song and within the band but, Wikipedia has taught me otherwise (she also has a great voice).

What else can I say, except that I pay close attention to this song for the warbling cry right after the two-minute mark. It gives me goosebumps, every time. 🙂

I forgot to include the lyrics with the previous song and I’ll amend that shortly. For the lyrics to this song, you’ll have to read on below.

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Poem: ‘Nothing Left’

‘Nothing Left’

I love you so much

It begins to hurt

My heart, restrained

Feelings still inert

I wish you could hear

Words I’m wanting to say

But how do I know

Would they scare you away?

Without you, I’m empty

I wish you were there

You had your own reasons

For which, you won’t share

More than half a year

You’re drifting away

I don’t like to say it

But soon, will come that day

I find my arms weakening

My face is a mess

If you could see my view

You wouldn’t settle for less

I’m back now, with nothing

These days never end

Has fate turned against us?

Does your heart pretend?

Bruce Springsteen – ‘Tunnel of Love’

As I haven’t written anything on these blog for a few days and I’m feeling better than I was for the initial days, I thought I’d share one of my favourite Bruce Springsteen song with you:

Whatever some people may think of ‘The Boss’, this one is much better than the Christmas song they keep playing on Radio 2!

I don’t think I really need to say why I like this one in particular. 🙂

For the lyrics, you’ll have to read on, below.

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Poem: ‘Four Months’

‘Four Months’

Sixteen weeks and too many days
Since I last saw you

In my mind, your face is unclear
In my heart, I feel that you’re near
Hearing your voice, I hold so dear
I wait, I’m still here

Time has passed
We can’t go back
One-third on
Two more to go

You’re moving on
But all alone
This man of yours
He bears no throne

I worry
I fear
My tears
All for you

A day will come
It’s not too late
Let’s hope it’s soon
I’ll always wait

For you.

(It’s four-months to the day since I last saw her.)

 

‘Dear Dad’ (A Letter)

This letter begins without a greeting because, let’s be honest here; when have I ever greeted to you as my ‘dad’?

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Talking Away

Earlier this week, I had my first counselling session session for a few weeks. Reflecting now, as I have been ever since, I feel confused about what was discussed in that session. A lot was said and I’ve asked for a list to jog my memory as I feel like I’ve already forgotten some of the important issues that came up.

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Poem: ‘Heartache’

I haven’t written (finished) any poetry for a while so, I literally just typed this up following on from my last post, without even consulting my notebook. Now, I have a bit of a headache, to accompany my fractured heart.

‘Heartache’

Holding on when I should let go

Before I do, I’d like you to know

That if and in a time of need

You need someone, I’ll mount my steed

For I do not believe your love

Is any more than hiding ‘side a glove

You used to talk but now don’t share

There is no reason, I do still care

Friendship’s hard when there is no other

I saw, crying, with your brother

Your life should be full of happiness

Instead, you’re back in that same old mess

I want to move and ease my heartache

Instead, I’m stuck here, about to break.

Day 12 – Something You Never Get Compliments On

This one has been sat in my drafts folder for a number of weeks now. I know that I’ve had situations in the past where I didn’t get praised for things I felt were going un-noticed. That was in a previous job (or two) but now, that aspect of my work receives better respect (even if I don’t always receive direct or sincere appraisal for it). I’ve been thinking of how to answer this one and, very recently, I came to the realisation that I’m not even sure who I would be seeking the appraisal(s) from…

Someone at work? A family member? Non-existent friend?! Some I meet or have met through a dating website?

Day 12 – Something I Never Get Compliments On

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Weird Baby-Ghost Dream

I’ve been lying in bed all morning, under the covers, listening to music on my iPod as I try to remember this dream I had last night. I did actually start today off with a warm shower and a bacon sandwich but, it seems like the slightest feeling of cold air around my feet can be enough to trigger my anxiety at the moment… I do feel kind of tired as well, which is another excuse for not going out on a walk today (the first time I’ve had a rest on a Saturday since August). But then, I spent all of yesterday afternoon (after work) doing the same thing; occasionally moving over to the laptop to keep an eye on Facebook and, as much as I hate to admit it, trawling the dating sites for anyone even remotely interesting who stands out from the rest of the crowd…

Tomorrow morning, I will make a better effort to go out somewhere. These feelings and fears of ‘eternal loneliness’ or a ‘life without intimacy’ keep coming back to haunt me, especially on a weekend where I have no plans to see anyone socially.

Back to this dream…

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Blaising Emotion

Well, the title isn’t quite the perfect fit for this posting but, I did venture out to Blaise Castle this afternoon in an attempt to try and rid myself of some of the emotion I’ve been feeling over the whole ‘May’ situation this week. As you may remember, it was the very first ‘adventure’ I went on, back in August. I already had the majority of photos I needed and only really went back with the intention of capturing the two caves I was unable to snap before. Also, it is a place that I associate with my memory of and feelings for May. When we first met online, we talked about going here together. It never happened and, I did feel a bit ‘guilty’ going there alone. It’s one of a few places that will always remind me of her… Some may say that it’s best to avoid those kind of situations. However, I’m trying to be strong. If we end up avoiding things, we end up living in fear and, I can honestly say that I’ve spent enough of my life living in fear.

Nymph’s Cave – Without Children!

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