It’s the weekend but, this morning I’m thinking about work. It’s a place I’ve never truly enjoyed being, for five-days a week or even for less but, it’s a necessity of life. Through counselling, I’ve come to understand that my current job does affect my self-esteem. I’ve never been ‘happy’ or perfectly content in any job but, I feel that I have been in situations where I’ve felt better about myself and the people I work for.
Today’s post (my first of the day) is going to focus on each of the positives in my current role, without telling you exactly what I do! 🙂
I was drying my hair a little while ago after taking a shower, when the thought came back to me about a recurring dream I often have. It’s not something I often remember as soon as I wake up but, the memory comes to me some time after.
In these dreams, I find myself in a situation (usually at work, as I remember) where I’m still dressed in my dressing gown and slippers (I have some clothes on underneath, don’t worry!). At some point during the dream (they don’t seem to be very long), I come to the embarrassing realisation that everyone around me has already gotten themselves dressed. Where as, I’m still in my ‘morning’ look, struggling with the physical nature of the job because of what I’m wearing.
What on Earth could it mean?
When I was at school (which I didn’t always enjoy), I used to experience similar dreams quite frequently. On other days, I might have forgotten my shoes. Worst of all is when I have nothing below the waist and I’m constantly trying and struggling to stretch my shirt.
But, there isn’t a situation in any of these dreams where someone points and laughs. Nobody seems to notice.
Maybe I should bring this up in counselling as well? It could be part of the social anxiety deep within my subconscious, I guess.
Thinking back through my employment history (stretching back just over ten-years now, including part-time work), I’ve not really had one job that I can say I’ve truly enjoyed. I try not to make a secret of the fact that I dislike the job I’m in at the moment (except for when I’m in work) and, although I like to think that I’d be ‘happier’ doing something else, well, I’ve worked in other places and, even when I have my ‘good’ days, I’ve never truly been able to say that I’ve enjoyed a single job that I’ve had.
In this post, I’m going to try and talk briefly about my work history, in the hope of recognising and understanding any signs and symptoms of anxiety, so that I can aim to improve my current life and my future.