I was doing okay when I wrote that last post but, at the same time, something dark was creeping over my mind. I’d had a great weekend; leaving me with little to look forward to in the now-passing week, besides work in a job that makes me feel all kinds of negative things. I realised through CBT (another good week) that I am generally very critical of myself in anxious situation (self-esteem issues?).
My list of questions for whichever helpline is able to answer their phone first.
All week, I’ve been irritable. Starting each work day with fire in my arms; coming home to a state of anything but calmness. People constantly irritate me. I cannot tolerate the monotony of the radio or this job any longer. My pace slows to a crawl as the Eart begins to rotate at half-speed. Throughout all of this, there’s one constant thought or situation that is always at the head of the queue…
As I’ve spent two-days now lying in bed (with a cold), it seems almost fitting that I’m going to sit here now to write and share with you my recollection and reflection of a dream I had a few nights ago.
Another day and another challenge. I’ve already worked my way up in to the twenties, which means I haven’t got long left until this month-long challenge is complete! I’m going to try and approach these remaining days as spontaneous and instinctively as possible. Without giving too much and allowing an answer to come through naturally; acknowledging and accepting it.
Day 22 – Something I Wish I Hadn’t Done in My Life