Being Friends

This follows on from my First Date post.

I awoke the next morning to find a text message from Jan, simply asking whether I’d made it home safely. I guess she was waiting and hoping to hear from me first and, I would’ve texted her sooner, if only I hadn’t felt so flat that morning. From the minute I walked in the door late on Saturday night, I knew I was missing her company. I was all alone again. Anyway, I told her how nice it was to meet her, how I’d look forward to seeing her again and she replied to say that I should’ve just said “I think you’re fat and ugly“, exclaiming that she wanted her books back! She wasn’t the only feeling low and, later that day, at my mum’s house, I burst in to tears when she asked me about how the day had gone.

After a few days, I spoke to her on the phone and she seemed to have calmed down considerably. She was deeply apologetic; stating that she gets like that sometimes because of her condition and that she never meant to react in such a way. We agreed that I would see her again in two-weeks’ time, while we both kept looking for other matches on the dating website. I would’ve gone up to see her sooner but, she has her daughter with her every other weekend.

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First Date

It was only a few days before Christmas last year when I joined a dating website for the very first time. I was terrified but, I also felt it would be a good way of meeting someone; maybe even finding my first relationship… I’ve never been very outgoing, in the social sense and, like a lot of people, I’m just so very lonely at times. Especially in the winter, when it’s cold most days and we see very little daylight. Anyway, I joined this one site, looked around and realised that most of the profiles were probably ‘inactive’ – despite having payed for a subscription here, I wasn’t even getting a profile view after sending someone a message, let alone a reply. So, I moved on to another site…

This was Match.com; the one that many people are familiar with. It seems to have a better reputation than most, even though you still have to pay to use most of its services. I had a good look around at various profiles, receiving some views in return. After the shock of discovering my sister on there (almost enough to deter anyone – no disrespect to her personally!!), I also found one of her friends! But, there was someone else, who I only knew as Emily… She wasn’t ‘average’. There was no fake tan. She was quiet, creative, artistic and seemed to enjoy the outdoors. I felt as though she was everything I was looking for but, I felt overwhelmed by the natural beauty of her profile photos…

It took a few days but, I eventually plucked up the courage to spend £30 on a month’s membership and message her. After two weeks, I messaged again but, still, nothing. It wasn’t until the beginning of February that I did hear back from her; telling me how she wasn’t ignoring me and that she was taking a break from looking for a relationship at the moment with her life being ‘up in the air’. I sent her a reply, thanking her for the response and offering to be a friend but then, her photos vanished, right before her entire profile was removed, just as she said it would.

If there is such a thing as an ‘online romance’ then, I still believe to this day that this would’ve been it for me. One of the only reasons I’ve kept an active profile on this site since meeting May is because I hope to virtually meet Emily again. Maybe this winter? I also forked out for a six-month subscription only days before meeting May on one of the free sites but hey, I’m still single right now.

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