My Old Friend

He’s back again! I don’t know how long it’s been but he seemed to arrive suddenly yesterday, during the late-afternoon/evening. Anxiety. Fear. Hopelessness. However I like to label it, he’s here with me again right now.

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2013 – Year in Review

Here we are at the end of my first full-year on this blog. It’s ended in a more distant way than I would’ve expected. I mean, I had’t anticipated going on somewhat of an ‘exile’ from my own pages for much of the final few months. But I can recall back to last year’s post without entering any search terms and in this post, I’m going to reflect on my intentions for 2013, along with trying to summarise my achievements and realisations.

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Changing Story

What must it take for a victim to turn around, after many months of yearning for your trust and support, to claim that they fabricated the concept that they were being frequently abused by their partner?

Furthermore, why do I continually allow this situation to return to a place within my own life. What am I lacking inside?

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Meditation’s What I Need

We still have a few hours until Monday officially arrives (ie. the weekend isn’t even over yet) but I can confidently say that this weekend has been a great one! Very busy, highly productive and I feel like I’ve really done something positive with my time. I have no regrets! 🙂

It all started with the usual monthly meditation morning… Continue reading

10/10/2013

Today isn’t simply the 10th of October 2013… As I discovered earlier on Facebook; today is also World Mental Health Day 2013!

I’d like to start by thanking you all for reading and for following this blog over the past year and a bit. I greatly appreciate that you are all still there in spite of my infrequent postings and updates. In the time since I’ve started writing, sure, I’ve been able to attempt to share some of my lows, my downward spirals and ways of negative thinking… But on the whole, I’ve made a lot of progress and I’m still moving forwards. That may not solely rely on the efforts of writing on these pages but I’ve almost always been able to share what’s been going on.

To close this post, I’d like to just say to you all that, regardless of your age, your origin or how you may think and feel inside yourself; you don’t have to suffer alone or in silence. You will always have a choice. I’m not asking you to necessarily reach out to me personally but please do try to reach out to someone. Whether friend or family or not. You can find someone to share with.

Thank you all. Happy Friday for tomorrow and well wishes for the weekend!

 

No Friend of Mine

I feel a bit of a rant coming on this afternoon… When something or someone irritates me, this is my way of choosing to deal with that emotion. I stop and assess where some might make a spontaneous decision. I choose to write here instead of biting back at any other person.

No sooner had I written once previously about saying ‘goodbye’ to someone and how I finally felt like I was moving on from that… This same person surprisingly emerged days later and on Facebook of all places!

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Something New

It’s been a few weeks since I last logged-in and wrote here and that also means that you’ve ‘missed’ the end to my CBT course. It was strange last week; to arrive home on a Monday evening with nowhere to go… At the same time though, it was welcome to have an evening at the start of a long week where I could just relax!

As that course ended, we were encouraged to ‘fill that space’ with something. If we’re able to allow ourselves to spend two hours of one evening each week on doing something that we want to do; an activity from which we’ll benefit then surely, that space remains available for a different activity.

I’ve been aware (and interested) that Positive Step offer an eight-week course in Mindfulness. But attending that course is not as straight-forward as you might expect… A telephone conversation/interview with the course leader is required before hand, so that you can both assess whether it will suit you personally. Because it requires quite a commitment for anyone not currently practising on a very regular basis… You’re required to practice mindfulness for forty-five minutes each and every night in your own spare time! But also, the next course doesn’t start until the new year and so, that would’ve been a rather long wait.

I don’t see any personal benefit from the Anger Management course (which they’ve recently renamed) and without repeating either of the two courses I’ve already completed, that would leave me with just the Assertiveness course to follow… Which I’ve decided to ‘postpone’ for the time being, simply because it is the one offering that involves ROLE PLAY!! :-S

Anyway, this week – tonight, in fact – I’ve begun a new regular dose of doing something that benefits me…

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Five Qualities

Referring back to the experience of my first session in learning about Self-Esteem issues; I’m going to go on as I intended by writing about the five qualities I would look for in another person. That’s not to imply that I’m looking to amend or consider my current assessment (although, this may also help me with that). It’s mainly so that I can do as we were told in the class; to consider where I would position myself on each line and also, in relation to that “perfect” person.

Think Tank

Think Tank (Photo credit: Robiwan_Kenobi)

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New Self-Esteem?

Tonight, I’d like to write to you about my experience of the previous evening, when I finally began the NHS-funded Self-Esteem course that I signed up for following the end of the CBT-based lessons in Anxiety Management. This time, they’ve extended the course duration from 6 to a total of 8 weeks, which should allow people to get more form their chosen course (apparently, it’s a common ‘complaint’ amongst past attendees).

[Image taken from: http://blog.lib.umn.edu%5D

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