‘Starlight’ – Muse

There was a time when the prospect of owning a Muse album excited, back in the early noughties. I’ve seen distanced myself from the band with their more mainstream style. But, there’s one song that seems to play more frequently on Planet Rock than any of their others and it’s certainly one that I’ve grown an attachment to.

Matt Bellamy has a great voice and originally, a style that seemed to surprise a lot of people when the band first ’emerged’. Mostly, it’s for those lines about just wanting to hold someone in my arms.

I was supposed to see my friend again today but, she cancelled it (for personal reasons) only a couple of hours in advance. I won’t bother to try and deny or even question my disappointment. I know our time and that opportunity will come again. In the mean time, I have another friend’s birthday celebration to attend this evening and I must get myself out to do a group walk on Sunday, as there’s one that starts only a few miles from home.

Speaking of which, I’ve been out to view potential place to rent this afternoon! I like it and the meeting with the agent went well. It’s the only available place that I can realistically afford right now (on a monthly basis) but I really need to sit down and look at how feasible that first month would be, with all the relevant fees, a deposit and the advanced payment of rent that would be required… I had a good feeling that it would be a space for me to ‘create’; certainly with my writing and perhaps also with music some day.

Today’s song (its title) also reminds me of internet dating in general, as there was one girl (guess her username!) who I felt was a near-‘perfect’ match for me, based on the shy natured outlined in her profile… She never responded to my message, which I think tells you something about the world of online dating… Perhaps that in spite of appearances and first impressions, it’s no more transparent than finding someone away from the computer screen.

Please read below to find the lyrics for this song.

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Acceptance

There’s one issue in my life that’s been quite a ‘theme’ for this blog in recent months and it’s not something I’ve openly written much about lately. There are a few individuals who I’ve confided in with this (you each know who you are) and I appreciate every effort you have made to just be there and support me and my own thoughts.

Now, it’s time for me to make my own decision. In fact, it’s one that I’ve already made…

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Dire Dates

I’ve been wanting to write a post about internet dating all week, after reading WeeGee’s recent post on her own initial experiences, where should asked whether I might be able to share some of my thoughts from the male side of the spectrum…

 

I don’t really know what to say at this point and, some points I would like to make have already been covered in other posts scattered around. I don’t like to repeat myself so, I’m just going to try and write this as it comes.

 

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Being Friends

This follows on from my First Date post.

I awoke the next morning to find a text message from Jan, simply asking whether I’d made it home safely. I guess she was waiting and hoping to hear from me first and, I would’ve texted her sooner, if only I hadn’t felt so flat that morning. From the minute I walked in the door late on Saturday night, I knew I was missing her company. I was all alone again. Anyway, I told her how nice it was to meet her, how I’d look forward to seeing her again and she replied to say that I should’ve just said “I think you’re fat and ugly“, exclaiming that she wanted her books back! She wasn’t the only feeling low and, later that day, at my mum’s house, I burst in to tears when she asked me about how the day had gone.

After a few days, I spoke to her on the phone and she seemed to have calmed down considerably. She was deeply apologetic; stating that she gets like that sometimes because of her condition and that she never meant to react in such a way. We agreed that I would see her again in two-weeks’ time, while we both kept looking for other matches on the dating website. I would’ve gone up to see her sooner but, she has her daughter with her every other weekend.

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Heartache

After my actions last night, I fear that I may be about to lose the friendship of someone I dearly care about. Once again, I’m referring to ‘May’, who I’ve known for all of three-months (actually, it’s very close to four, now). Because of her deep depression (bipolar disorder), she often goes in to states where she shuts herself off from the world (including most of her friends). This is probably something that many of use can relate to; I’m just not use to seeing it in a person for such a prolonged period. It can be days or even weeks before I hear from her. Usually, I have to almost ‘provoke’ her (in a complementary way) just to get something.

Last night, I told her how much I missed talking to her, how I always accept her for who she is and that I had exciting things happening (writing, blogging and poetry) that I wanted to share with her. I received a response with some expression of interest and, after a few messages, I she accepted my invitation to see one of my poems…

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Is This Love?

So, I mentioned in my last post that I’m deeply in love with someone. Having not truly felt this way before, I’d like to talk about it here and get a few things out of my head and off of my chest. I do not know for certain that this is a feeling of love… How do you know?! But, I’ve felt physical attractions towards people of the opposite sex before and, this is certainly much more than that!

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