Monday Night Writing

Another night where I feel the urge to write.

What I haven’t yet mentioned is that I’m off work until Thursday this week. It’s rare for me to take any time off (I’m sure there’ll be more days and weeks like this before the year ends) but I decided to force myself to take a break for once. Back in September, I had hopes and the beginnings of plans to go away for a weekend or two but other ‘surprise expenses’ closed the curtain down on that.

I’d planned to take this time off to do some things for myself (mostly walking); to try and enjoy a bit more of my life. My mum’s been on holiday for almost two-weeks now and so, it’s also been a bit of an experiment in noticing how or if my mood is different with one less person in this house…

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Day 10 – Someone You Need to Let Go Or, Wish You Didn’t Know

This one’s actually very tricky and, looking further ahead, I can see a couple of others that I’m also going to struggle with.

People have told me that I should consider ‘letting go‘ of ‘May’. Certainly, I am trying to drop the thought of starting a relationship with her any time soon as she continually strives to fix what’s already there. But, I cannot bear the thought of losing her as a friend. She is special, to me and, like a lot of people reading this; I know how it feels when people ‘don’t bother‘ with you. I genuinely value and desire her friendship. When I try to describe the situation to someone, I feel they’re too quick to make a judgement. Or, perhaps I don’t explain it well enough… Not that I can claim to know exactly what’s going on; there is definitely a chance for friendship between us and I know that she values me, even when she finds it hard to acknowledge it. 🙂

I could easily mention my dad here as well! Yep, I could try to ‘let go’ of some of my anger towards him and, I hope that I can try to forgive him in time (in my own mind).

Sometimes, I wish I didn’t know him but, he does have his uses… If I never knew him, I guess I’d only be wondering about who he was and, making efforts to try and find him, with all the ‘surprises’ that could bring…!

Right now, I can’t think of anyone in my life who I feel should not or does not belong here. That’s the truth. 😛