‘Stay’ – Shakespeare’s Sister

Hello everybody!!!

I’m going to try and write a proper post for you very soon because I’m having some very good experiences with my weekly CBT group and I’m already coming up to the fourth session in our six-week course. While I haven’t been blogging here, I have been out walking, getting practical with other interests and keeping my ‘real’ blog alive (it’s a good sign).

Right now, I have a song by the Gaslight Anthem stuck in my head and I was very close to sharing that one with you right now. Instead, I’ve gone for an old ‘favourite’ that cropped up earlier in the week… It’s a song that used to terrify and frighten me as a kind, simply for the video…

If you haven’t seen it before then, I hope it doesn’t have a similar effect on you! Otherwise, Enjoy! 🙂

Read below for the lyrics (even though they have no relevance to me on this occasion).

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‘Darkness’ – Disturbed

There’s a song that came to my mind about a week ago and I’ve been eager to share it with you ever since. Actually, this one creeps back in to my mind on a frequent basis. I’d be surprised if it hasn’t grazed my conscious mind at least once each week for the past eleven years!

It’s one that I’m almost ‘afraid’ to share. I first heard this song when I bought the band’s album, at the age of 17. I was heading towards a low patch of my own during my A-Levels and I used to worry that this song would make me feel worse; as if I shouldn’t ever allow myself to listen to it. In fact, there’s a song on Staind‘s ‘Break the Cycle‘ album that I would always skip… I’ll share that one on another day.

But, ‘Darkness’ was soothing. I found comfort in David voice, the piano keys that didn’t belong on this album and ‘those three words‘ that I could relate to; over and over again.

I’ve grown away from this band (and a lot of metal, in general) in the years since but, if I was to choose just one track of theirs from the two albums I own, to sit inside a playlist on my iPod… There is no question.

I don’t wish for people to read anything in to the timing of this as I am okay. In fact, I’m planning to write a positive post of gratitude tomorrow evening, in preparation for my CBT assessment on Thursday. 😉 If anything is wrong at this moment, it’s that I can’t seem to stop listening to Lana Del Ray’s album at the minute! I’m also in a bit of a Chili Peppers phase at the minute too (everything pre-2006). 😎

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Believe Me

Why do I often feel as though people don’t believe me?

I’m not an overly sarcastic person; that side only really shows through when I’m feeling slightly confident and even close to relaxed around people. Yet, I can think of several occasions throughout my life where others don’t appear to accept some of the truths and feelings that I’m trying to share.

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Daily Prompt: ‘Dearly Departed’

“Write your own eulogy.

This one has come at a rather convenient time for me personally, as I lost my granddad, 82-years old, one week ago today.

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Weird Baby-Ghost Dream

I’ve been lying in bed all morning, under the covers, listening to music on my iPod as I try to remember this dream I had last night. I did actually start today off with a warm shower and a bacon sandwich but, it seems like the slightest feeling of cold air around my feet can be enough to trigger my anxiety at the moment… I do feel kind of tired as well, which is another excuse for not going out on a walk today (the first time I’ve had a rest on a Saturday since August). But then, I spent all of yesterday afternoon (after work) doing the same thing; occasionally moving over to the laptop to keep an eye on Facebook and, as much as I hate to admit it, trawling the dating sites for anyone even remotely interesting who stands out from the rest of the crowd…

Tomorrow morning, I will make a better effort to go out somewhere. These feelings and fears of ‘eternal loneliness’ or a ‘life without intimacy’ keep coming back to haunt me, especially on a weekend where I have no plans to see anyone socially.

Back to this dream…

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Toilet Phobia

For my first post here and, as I welcome you to this blog, I’d like to try and go back to my childhood to talk about something that plagued me for several years; eating away at my social confidence while possibly giving birth to the anxieties that would later go on to plague my every day life.

This post concerns a form of ‘Toilet Phobia‘.

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