This is my first weekly writing challenge and I’ve decided to take this to create a list of ten things that I have been grateful and thankful for in 2012. I was hoping to do this two days ago (in preparation for 21/12/12…) but, you know how life goes and other things often get in the way and sometimes prevent you from doing things. So, in no particular order, here we go:
Last week was the second part in his ‘Apocalypse’ experiment. I forget the title of tonight’s show but, it was all about the placebo effect taking a brand new pill apparently created to relieve a sufferer of their fear.
Okay, so, the truth is a little different – these pills don’t do anything; it’s all allowing yourself to rise up above your fears. But, if you haven’t seen it, I would highly recommend watching. If you don’t catch it on E4, C4, More4 or 4Seven very soon then, you should be able to watch it online some (4OD – On Demand although, I’ve never used it).
I don’t really have much else to say and I certainly don’t wish to spoil the episode for anyone who might intend to watch it. Although, I did feel I could relate to Nick who suffered from social anxiety but, perhaps more so, the woman, Katie, who talked about a fear of being able to sing even in her own home because someone might hear her… Watch it!. 🙂
It’s late. Very late. Midnight has passed and, already, Sunday is here. I should be heading to bed for my last lie-in before another five-days of early starts but, I’m sat here, trying to make amends for the ‘weakness’ I’ve shown in my previous post.
Day 27 – The Best Thing Going for Me Right Now
Leading on from my last post, I’d like to say that it’s the fact that I’m a ‘genuine’ guy, whatever that means, hahaha…
It’s the weekend but, this morning I’m thinking about work. It’s a place I’ve never truly enjoyed being, for five-days a week or even for less but, it’s a necessity of life. Through counselling, I’ve come to understand that my current job does affect my self-esteem. I’ve never been ‘happy’ or perfectly content in any job but, I feel that I have been in situations where I’ve felt better about myself and the people I work for.
Today’s post (my first of the day) is going to focus on each of the positives in my current role, without telling you exactly what I do! 🙂
Several times on this blog, I’ve made reference to the fact that I’ve been living back at my mum’s house since the beginning of August and that, as much as I enjoyed the space and independence of living alone, I wasn’t happy overall with the conditions of where I was living. Money was one factor that bought me home. I did look around for other properties not too far away but, there wasn’t much that I could realistically afford.
It’s also fair to say that I’m not entirely happy living back at mum’s and that I often feel ‘confined’ and as though I’m less able to relax and express myself (even if I am warm). I don’t wish to dwell on any of the negatives associated with either situation right now. Instead, I’m going to take a little advice from the author of Reflections on Life So Far and I’ll trying to focus on the positives of where I am and everything I am grateful for, living here.
Today’s topic suggests that there have been times where I’ve doubted the significance to my continued existence and, like so many people, these thoughts have plagued my mind on many occasions. I can even recall thinking about it at the age of five, sat cross-legged on the floor in a school assembly. I’ve had the thoughts and I’ve even considered my methods and approach to the day but, I’ve never had the serious intent to follow it through (maybe I should carefully consider this for another post?).
Maybe there’s an element of fear that’s held me back in the past; all the unanswered questions and the risk that it may not go as according to plan. I can’t think of any one thing (or person) that has ‘kept me alive’ in the past but, I can certainly think of one person in my life today who has given me new reason to live.
Day 7 – Someone Who Has Made My Life Worth Living For
I wrote the other day to say that I’d been feeling quite good about things generally. To be honest, I still am but, as I now realise how ‘soul-destroying’ my day-job is (my counsellor believes it is affecting my attempts to boost my self-esteem), it’s easy for me to feel low again, especially during the weekday evenings. I’m a bit stressed about seeing my dad later for a bit of a family gathering as we celebrate someone’s special occasion. I’m looking forward to seeing the others as it has been too long but, around my dad, I never feel comfortable and, I’m hoping that, in time, I’ll be able to write something (like a poem) about it all. It’s still something I haven’t yet talked about away from this blog.