I had intended to join in with a group activity event today. It’s something I do quite regularly and I still owe many thanks to ‘B’ (if ever she reads this) for suggesting the idea AND finding the information five years ago.
I could be off now, trying to do something on my own… Instead, I’ve chosen to sit here and write. Partly so that I can hide away from the world but also, in an attempt to save myself from too much inner suffering and slaughter.
What I haven’t yet mentioned is that I’m off work until Thursday this week. It’s rare for me to take any time off (I’m sure there’ll be more days and weeks like this before the year ends) but I decided to force myself to take a break for once. Back in September, I had hopes and the beginnings of plans to go away for a weekend or two but other ‘surprise expenses’ closed the curtain down on that.
I’d planned to take this time off to do some things for myself (mostly walking); to try and enjoy a bit more of my life. My mum’s been on holiday for almost two-weeks now and so, it’s also been a bit of an experiment in noticing how or if my mood is different with one less person in this house…
Tonight, I’d like to write to you about my experience of the previous evening, when I finally began the NHS-funded Self-Esteem course that I signed up for following the end of the CBT-based lessons in Anxiety Management. This time, they’ve extended the course duration from 6 to a total of 8 weeks, which should allow people to get more form their chosen course (apparently, it’s a common ‘complaint’ amongst past attendees).
It’s not very often that I have dreams and I’ve never really been sure if that it isn’t a sign that a part of my life needs to change. Dreams are a natural process of the subconscious, right? Maybe a lack of regular sleep is a factor. That’s certainly been a habit of late; waking up frequently during the night and early mornings. Deliberately staying up late and, with time off work, laying in bed until it’s almost noon.
One night in this last week though, I had a dream involving two women (calm down) that I’d like to try and share.
This is a song I love but don’t listen to often enough. Neither can I name another song from this band although, I’m sure they’re created many over the years. I’m not even sure how to pronounce Queensryche but, it doesn’t matter! 🙂