Abuse Without Excuse

This post comes as a response to recent events within the life of a close friend of mine. I haven’t known her that long but, from the initial online conversations, I felt as though something was ‘off’ with her relationship and that appears to match the criteria for Emotional Abuse. Six months later, I learned on one frightful night that the abuse was also physical. Yet, through fear and insecurity (I presume), she was back under his fist less than 48 hours after finding the strength to escape.

On Friday night, I received a message out of the blue, where she admitted that she was in an abusive relationship and asked for my help. She didn’t say whether anything had happened that night and there were long delays between other replies. I naturally offered to help, I told her I wasn’t far away and, although she suggested that she ‘might’ need an escape, well, she stayed there for the night and I’ve barely heard from her since.

Refuge – UK charity for women and children who are victims of domestic violence and abuse.

That’s a brief synopsis of the situation I’m witnessing. In this post, I’d like to share some of my thoughts and concerns over helping a friend through and out of such a situation.

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Getting Smart

A couple of months ago, I wrote a post to state my interest in upgrading to a smartphone. It was giving me quite a headache but, the responses I received did help me to view my true options in a clear perspective. This week, I bit the bullet and spent some money on eBay. £200, in fact! That’s a lot to pay for a used phone but, it was sold as being reconditioned by the seller and the RRP of these phones is somewhere far and beyond £300.

Old and new.

Old and new.

It’s a Samsung Galaxy SII; one of the main competitors to the iPhone 4S, apparently. I was keeping an eye out for those but I wouldn’t have saved any money. Thinking about my experiences with my 4th generation iPod Nano and also, the words of a friend; I remembered how frustrated I’ve been by having to ‘sync’ the Apple device to my laptop. When I switched over from using my mum’s PC a few years ago, I actually lost all of the content on my iPod and had to start again from scratch. Other MP3 players store this kind of media on their hard drives, so that you can copy from the device to a computer. With Apple, it seems to be a case of ‘with us or without it all‘…

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Home

Several times on this blog, I’ve made reference to the fact that I’ve been living back at my mum’s house since the beginning of August and that, as much as I enjoyed the space and independence of living alone, I wasn’t happy overall with the conditions of where I was living. Money was one factor that bought me home. I did look around for other properties not too far away but, there wasn’t much that I could realistically afford.

It’s also fair to say that I’m not entirely happy living back at mum’s and that I often feel ‘confined’ and as though I’m less able to relax and express myself (even if I am warm). I don’t wish to dwell on any of the negatives associated with either situation right now. Instead, I’m going to take a little advice from the author of Reflections on Life So Far and I’ll trying to focus on the positives of where I am and everything I am grateful for, living here.

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