Thoughts on Depression

I was talking the mum about many things the other evening and, in my attempt to be completely honest with people from this year on; I began by telling her that I only needed her to listen when I talk. That her opinion or advice is not something I am asking for and that some things she said before Christmas only made me feel guilty. She took this well and so, the conversation went on and lasted for some time.

Mum told me about the first time she had seen me ‘like this’ and that was over a decade ago, when I was secretly skipping lessons during my A-Levels at school. This merged in to days before transforming in to weeks. I still don’t know how I got away with it for so long or, to be honest, why I ever did it. I can remember being home the day my mum answered a call from the Head of Sixth Form… I think I was supposed to be in one that day yet, I was hidden upstairs in my room. Maybe even lying in bed; listening and waiting.

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Day 9 – Someone You Didn’t Want to Let Go, But Just Drifted

I could pick out one of several friendships from my childhood and, even, one or two acquaintances I’ve made through work. For whatever reason, people seem to disappear from my life once that common ‘thing’ (work, college, etc.) has ended. It doesn’t matter how I may feel about them as a friend and, how much I may wish to stay in touch; it never seems to happen.

Even re-connecting with people through Facebook doesn’t make any difference.

Day 9 – Someone I Didn’t Want to Let Go, But Just Drifted

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A Regular Dream

I was drying my hair a little while ago after taking a shower, when the thought came back to me about a recurring dream I often have. It’s not something I often remember as soon as I wake up but, the memory comes to me some time after.

In these dreams, I find myself in a situation (usually at work, as I remember) where I’m still dressed in my dressing gown and slippers (I have some clothes on underneath, don’t worry!). At some point during the dream (they don’t seem to be very long), I come to the embarrassing realisation that everyone around me has already gotten themselves dressed. Where as, I’m still in my ‘morning’ look, struggling with the physical nature of the job because of what I’m wearing.

What on Earth could it mean?

When I was at school (which I didn’t always enjoy), I used to experience similar dreams quite frequently. On other days, I might have forgotten my shoes. Worst of all is when I have nothing below the waist and I’m constantly trying and struggling to stretch my shirt.

But, there isn’t a situation in any of these dreams where someone points and laughs. Nobody seems to notice.

Maybe I should bring this up in counselling as well? It could be part of the social anxiety deep within my subconscious, I guess.

Does anyone know much about dream interpretation?

Thank you. 🙂