Weird Baby-Ghost Dream

I’ve been lying in bed all morning, under the covers, listening to music on my iPod as I try to remember this dream I had last night. I did actually start today off with a warm shower and a bacon sandwich but, it seems like the slightest feeling of cold air around my feet can be enough to trigger my anxiety at the moment… I do feel kind of tired as well, which is another excuse for not going out on a walk today (the first time I’ve had a rest on a Saturday since August). But then, I spent all of yesterday afternoon (after work) doing the same thing; occasionally moving over to the laptop to keep an eye on Facebook and, as much as I hate to admit it, trawling the dating sites for anyone even remotely interesting who stands out from the rest of the crowd…

Tomorrow morning, I will make a better effort to go out somewhere. These feelings and fears of ‘eternal loneliness’ or a ‘life without intimacy’ keep coming back to haunt me, especially on a weekend where I have no plans to see anyone socially.

Back to this dream…

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Last Night’s Dream

It’s not often that I have unique dreams so, I like to ‘document them’ here, when I can. Actually, as this dream was happening, I felt as though I’d been in this situation recently – is that my subconscious talking or, was I aware that it was only another dream?

It occurred on the road where I lived for sixteen months in my own place, until August this year. I’d walked down the drive way (presumably, going for one of my regular local walks down the country lanes) and I noticed this frightening crying sound. As I walked further up the road, to discover the cause of this commotion, I noticed a small dog running towards me (a beagle puppy, I think), followed by a little girl, only six or seven-years old, if I had to guess.

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Being Friends

This follows on from my First Date post.

I awoke the next morning to find a text message from Jan, simply asking whether I’d made it home safely. I guess she was waiting and hoping to hear from me first and, I would’ve texted her sooner, if only I hadn’t felt so flat that morning. From the minute I walked in the door late on Saturday night, I knew I was missing her company. I was all alone again. Anyway, I told her how nice it was to meet her, how I’d look forward to seeing her again and she replied to say that I should’ve just said “I think you’re fat and ugly“, exclaiming that she wanted her books back! She wasn’t the only feeling low and, later that day, at my mum’s house, I burst in to tears when she asked me about how the day had gone.

After a few days, I spoke to her on the phone and she seemed to have calmed down considerably. She was deeply apologetic; stating that she gets like that sometimes because of her condition and that she never meant to react in such a way. We agreed that I would see her again in two-weeks’ time, while we both kept looking for other matches on the dating website. I would’ve gone up to see her sooner but, she has her daughter with her every other weekend.

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