This week, I had my first counselling session for almost three-weeks. We’d agreed to take a break after six straight sessions together and, it was clear by that time that I’d already made significant progress and that I was becoming a more relaxed person. During the break, I must admit that I’ve let my meditation routine slip. I’ll do it one night but then, maybe not for another four days or more… Thinking right now, I can’t remember listening to either of them since Sunday! But, I seem to be okay.
I was keen not to ‘give up’ just yet as there were two major issues in my life that I wanted to try and talk about and, I’ll try to elaborate on these a little with this post.
Since Sunday, I’ve found myself in two social situations where I might usual feel uncomfortable, with symptoms of anxiety might kick in. My sister recently celebrated her birthday and so, we’ve been out for two pub meals with different parts of the family. Both times, I wasn’t the one in control so, I guess that helps to relieve any feelings of stress of pressure. Also, I was amongst friends and family that I knew, even if I don’t get to see some of them very often. I even managed to sit through an entire meal next to my dad without coming too close to losing my temper!
I’ve been meditating each evening for almost one week now and, I wonder whether this is a sign that it is helping and that my situation is beginning to improve…
I’d like to make this next post about the ‘issues’ I have concerning my relationship with my father. It’s something that’s been on my mind recently and I cannot honestly remember a time where I have felt ‘comfortable’ in his presence. This is something I was intending to discuss recently with my counsellor but, we somehow bypassed it for now. I must admit that I’m quite afraid of talking about it. Nothing I’ve discussed in counselling so far (I started going just over one month ago) has come close to upsetting me and I fear as though there is something about this issue that is really going to hurt. I just don’t know what it is or why!