“Write your own eulogy.“
This one has come at a rather convenient time for me personally, as I lost my granddad, 82-years old, one week ago today.
Sixteen weeks and too many days
Since I last saw you
In my mind, your face is unclear
In my heart, I feel that you’re near
Hearing your voice, I hold so dear
I wait, I’m still here
Time has passed
We can’t go back
Two more to go
You’re moving on
But all alone
This man of yours
He bears no throne
All for you
A day will come
It’s not too late
Let’s hope it’s soon
I’ll always wait
(It’s four-months to the day since I last saw her.)
Here’s something I started last night and have worked on (I wouldn’t like to say finished) a bit more this evening, along with a few others I aim to share in time. It’s a bit ‘sketchy’ in places as I’ve stopped and started in places and have even jumped back in to rearrange and insert before pre-written verses. You could say it’s my most-heavily-edited poem so far! 😀
In a moment of fear
You ran to hide
But the help of a friend
You knew you must find
Seconds slowly pass
Red mist ascends
From the crash of shattered glass
Yet, so far from home
Friends are awaiting
You must pick up the phone
With your chance to depart
No room for hesitation
Your better life must start
It’s Wednesday night and I return to college tomorrow evening after a prolonged absence preceding half-term. So, that also means it’s homework night, being the defiant procrastinator that I am! 😛
Our initial task was to write a fictional scene of dialogue involving some form of conflict between two characters (much like a scene from Old Country for Old Men). I’ve run a couple of ideas through my head many times but have failed to get anything down on paper or, even, on the other side of the computer screen. I can’t visualise it and, despite all the spare time I’ve had to write something, it’s stressing me out too much (any stress is too much, in my opinion).
Instead, I’ve decided to attempt the ‘optional’ secondary homework and I’ll have this ready to share with the class tomorrow in less than twenty-four hours’ time…
Earlier this evening, I completed my second day (and second week) on my short fiction writing course. It was a great lesson in the sense that I know I’ve learnt several things about writing and character development, even in such an early stage of the twelve-week course. Yep, it sounds quite scary when I put it like that – only ten-weeks to go and then, I’m supposed to have my short story complete…! :-S
Although I know I’ve made a lot of progress (through counselling and meditation) in taking steps towards combating my social anxiety; being in that classroom again, today, I continually noticed myself watching the clock (my watch), waiting for the two-hour lesson to end so that I could ‘escape’ and get out of there.
It’s a terrible feeling that has always haunted me throughout school and other college courses. It doesn’t seem to matter even when I’m enjoying my time there; I would much prefer to be in the comfort of my own life in my own home. I can’t figure it out!
I’m managing to stay positive in these lessons and it’s not as though I’m falling behind with the work. If anything, I’m more open with my opinions than ever before in our discussions. The persistent thought of having to ‘share’ at the end of each session does concern me and, I’m sure it adds to my writer’s block in the class but, I really don’t know why I can’t just enjoy it.
I feel fairly relaxed and would like to try and get to know some of the people. But, I fear that, as before; these twelve-weeks will be over before I know it and, I’ll have little to show for it apart from a few thousands words on a page (or two).
I’m just running with my thoughts here. I’m not currently depressed, anxious or even that worried about this; it’s simply a concern that I’m aware of. Taking my watch off wouldn’t help much, I feel, as I’d still be stressing over what the time could be…
If it comes to it then, I’m sure at least one person will suggest we all meet in the cafe/bar for a drink after our final session together. It’s a short-course and a pretty intensive one at that. With such limited time, there’s no space for people to bring in and share their favourite books. No time for socialising, even though we do interact within the classroom.