Again, I was reminded of how writing here and sharing my thoughts anonymously can be a benefit to myself. The simply act of putting words on to screen helped to settle my mind last night and I awoke this morning with a pretty stable state of mentality.
So, tonight, I’m going to share one of my fears about friends in general and we’re talking about good friends here but of no-one in particular. It’s a small thought that’s lingered for a long time and I’m interested to hear the thoughts of others on this idea.
Why do I often feel as though people don’t believe me?
I’m not an overly sarcastic person; that side only really shows through when I’m feeling slightly confident and even close to relaxed around people. Yet, I can think of several occasions throughout my life where others don’t appear to accept some of the truths and feelings that I’m trying to share.
As I often do, I’ve been thinking a lot today about my ‘relationship’ with May, after a recent post where I vented some of my feelings and concerns regarding our friendship and received some very honest responses in return (thank you to all who commented).
We still talk fairly regularly, even though we can easily go a whole month (or more) without physically seeing each other. I do know that she does read my messages, even when she doesn’t reply and, that is reassuring. She’s told me before that she does this with female friends as well so, I’m assured that it is not personal.
My concerns have mostly surrounded her ‘intentions’ with and for me in her life and, reflecting on everything I’ve seen, read and known for the past four-months; by taking a step back, I can see that my own perceptions are quite clearly ‘distorted’ by my own feelings and attraction towards her… Continue reading →