‘A Weekend Wasted’
Three days off
With places to go
No wheels on the driveway and
Walking’s too slow
Why did I do this?
I let him decide
My loss of independence
I’m trapped to reside
Stuck in my own home
Yet, I feel so alone
You made your decision
You gave me no choice
Even if I had shouted
You’d ignore my voice
I wish I could leave
To find my own way
Instead, I must wait
At least one more day
I may have suffered some anxiety and disappointment issues earlier today when I missed the group walk but, as I said I would, I made it out on my own a little bit later, on another chapter in my adventure across the Mendip Hills.
Today, it was off towards the village of East Harptree for a four-mile trek through the local woodland and combe. You may remember that I went to West Harptree a few weeks ago, which is closer to Chew Valley Lake.
Today was a better one for walking. It did rain overnight but, the frost had sent in to ensure that the ground wasn’t too soft when I arrived in Draycott. I did drive up and down the village once, hoping to park near the church that I’d also spotted on Google Streetview but, wouldn’t you know it, that road was closed off! Access was still permissible but, being a Sunday and all, I didn’t want to risk causing an obstruction of any kind. So, I parked back up by the school I think I mentioned yesterday. There are no gates on the premises and, as it turned out, the car park was busy as there was another church right next door.
I must admit that I’m neglecting my 30 Days of Truth Challenge at the moment. Partly because of how low my mood was for the past couple of days but, even today, after conquering two giant hills and feeling much better, I’m unable to think of one thing that people never seem to compliment me on (Day 12).
That’s not to suggest that I receive total praise and credit where it’s due. I just can’t think of it right now.
So, let’s have a look at where I’ve been today…
Last night, I wasn’t feeling at my best, as you’re probably aware from my previous post. This cold was still hanging around when I awoke this morning but, I forced myself in to doing a ten-minute meditation for self-esteem and, after that and listening to some music, I was feeling better about facing the ‘lonely’ day ahead. I was up by 8 o’clock eating my bacon sandwich and I was then online, planning the day’s adventure (I’d decided to give it a try, even though my nose was running and I wasn’t able to contain any of my sneezes).
This week, I ventured over to Leigh Woods, which is a twenty-minute drive from home and, only a mile away (maybe less) from the Ashton Court Estate that I visited last week. It always seems to be the way with these days out… I don’t expect much at all. Even before I leave, I’m telling myself that it won’t live up to the previous day out. Yet, Ashton Court impressed me last week and, even though my camera’s battery died after only two-hours today, I still feel very good for having gotten out of the house.
This was somewhere I’d not been before. At least, not as far as I can remember… I can recall visiting some woodland with a friend’s family as a child but, wherever that was, the drive felt much longer.
Tonight, I was going to sit down and start writing about my all-too-brief ‘dating’ experience at the beginning of this year. It’s something that lightly came up recently in a Twitter conversation with a friend and, I feel as though I might benefit right now from writing it all out and reflecting on it all again. There were highs and crushing lows but, I’m really not in the mood tonight.
If I was to try and describe my symptoms to you, it would read like a form of depression. Lack of appetite, energy and enthusiasm. This cold that’s been on-the-brew for the last twenty-four hours isn’t helping and it has the potential to ruin my plans for a few hours of adventure over the weekend. I’m normally quite bad on a Friday anyway, from the minute my working week ends at lunchtime. Recently, I’ve set myself up with a few hours to look forward to each Saturday but, I think it’s that persistent feeling of ‘loneliness’; my realisation that, after a long, hard week at work, I get a chance to relax and take a break but, it’s never quite going to be what I hope it could be.