I’ve been lying in bed all morning, under the covers, listening to music on my iPod as I try to remember this dream I had last night. I did actually start today off with a warm shower and a bacon sandwich but, it seems like the slightest feeling of cold air around my feet can be enough to trigger my anxiety at the moment… I do feel kind of tired as well, which is another excuse for not going out on a walk today (the first time I’ve had a rest on a Saturday since August). But then, I spent all of yesterday afternoon (after work) doing the same thing; occasionally moving over to the laptop to keep an eye on Facebook and, as much as I hate to admit it, trawling the dating sites for anyone even remotely interesting who stands out from the rest of the crowd…
Tomorrow morning, I will make a better effort to go out somewhere. These feelings and fears of ‘eternal loneliness’ or a ‘life without intimacy’ keep coming back to haunt me, especially on a weekend where I have no plans to see anyone socially.
Back to this dream…
Brandon Bored 